Your Scars Are Beautiful
by BloodDrinker1864
Summary: They shouldn't be good for one another but somehow they seem to keep each other in check, and you need to be in check when you go undercover as a married couple. Linstead. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1 The Mission

**Hello everybody! So I got hooked on Chicago Fire so of course I had to watch PD and now I am obsessed as well. Jay and Erin are my OTP so this story is me fulfilling all of the moments they need together.**

 **Enjoy!**

She stood in front of the mirror staring at herself. She hated this part of the day, and it happened everyday. She slowly lifted up her deep red t-shirt she slept in over her head and dropped in on the ground of her bathroom floor. Her eyes were closed and she took a few deep breaths before opening them up and looking at herself. She tried to refrain from crying but a couple tears slipped out of her eyes, just like they did everyday. She reached over and grabbed the bottle of oil on the bathroom counter right next to the sink. She popped open the lid and squirted some into her hands. Without looking at her actions, she rubbed the oil over her abdomen letting it seep into her skin. She let it dry before picking up her red shirt on the floor and slipping it back over to head and onto to body. And it was only that moment that with her shirt on she was able to look at herself in the mirror without crying.

 **0000000000000000000**

"Alright gather around" Hank said at his team. They were all sitting at their desks in the Intelligence unit. "These strain of drugs coming out of these sex clubs aren't just random. This is a mastermind behind this. Now I need everyone on this case to find out who owns all the sex clubs in Chicago and who is working there to sell the drugs"

"I got a hit on a couple of sex clubs" Jay said from his desk. Hank nodded at him giving him the approval. "Six out of eleven clubs are owned by a guy named King Blaze, aka Axel Samson. He's has been charged with the possession and selling of drugs but it was over five years ago. Since then he's been quiet. But its not by chance he owns six sex clubs all of which are selling the same kind of overdosing drug"

"Alright I want someone in one of those six clubs checking it out. Anything would be helpful at this point" Voight said. When nobody stepped in to volunteer he finished his own sentence. "Halstead, Lindsay get dressed you're up"

"Uh what?" Lindsay asked a confused look on her face as she sat at her desk.

"Did I stutter?" Voight said. "I said Halstead, Lindsay get dressed you're up"

"So you want us to…" she said trailing off.

"Yes I want you to go into a sex club as a couple and see if you can find anything on this Axel guy and see if you can get a sample of the drug"

Erin still looked kinda confused and awkward but Jay had a smile on his face and Voight noticed.

"Listen here Halstead" he said walking over to him to get right in his face. "Just because you are going to a sex club as a couple doesn't mean anything. You touch her" he said pointing to Erin. "And I will kill you. So keep it in your pants" And at that Erin laughed as she tried to cover it up with a cough. Letting the entire unit turn to look at her.

"Now get dressed, you leave in an hour"

 **000000000000000000**

Erin stood in the mirror of the bathroom at work admiring herself. She had curled her hair so it sat shorter on her face. She had chosen a black tank top style dress that cut deep below showing off almost half of her boobs. The dress finished just in the middle of her thighs letting her long toned legs be the attention seeker. She paired the dress with black heels and a small clutch. She breathed in slowly taking one more look at herself before stepping back and leaving the bathroom. She made her way to the garage where she was supposed to meet the guys and take the car to the club. She opened up the door to the basement and walked in with her head down as she was looking at her cell phone. When she heard the chatter that was coming from the car and then slowly stop her headed popped back up to look at everybody. All of the guys expect for Hank had their mouths hanging open in awe.

"My team is full of hormonal teenagers" Voight said mumbling to himself. "Close your god damn mouths you pervs" He said louder this time getting Jay, Kevin, Al and Adam to close their mouths and blink a few times before putting their eyes back on Hank. Jay took the most time to take his eyes off of her and boy did she notice.

"Alright everybody knows the drill" Hank said looking back at his team. "Halstead and Lindsay go into the club and see if they can find anything linking Axel to the drugs, if they could get a sample of the drugs it would be even better. Now you both are hooked up which means we can hear everything" he said glaring at Jay. "And I do mean everything. You guys will have us on standby in case something goes wrong but the plan is that everybody gets out of here alive tonight and gets home. Got it?"

"Got it" The team said back.

"Good, now lets in the cars and get this party started"

 **00000000000000000**

Erin pulled the car up a block away from the club and put it in park as she turned off the car and unbuckled her seatbelt. She was about to open the car door and step out when Jay sitting in the passenger side grabbed her arm.

"Hey, are you okay with doing this?" he asked.

"Yak… why?" she said a weird look on her face.

"Its just…" he said trailing off. "In the office today when Voight told us you and me have to be the ones to go undercover in the club you didn't seem to happy. Look if you want to switch partners…"

Before he could finish Erin grabbed his arm for his attention. "No I don't want another partner Jay. I was just not happy about doing this because in these places women are seen as toys. And I am not a toy" she said firmly.

"I know, and I am not going to let anybody treat you like one" he said back looking into her eyes.

Without saying anything else they both got out of the car. Erin linked her arm through Jays as they walked down the street and to the doors of the club. Her in her black dress and him in a black suit. A man opened the door for them as they stepped in and walked down a long hallway until the room opened up and they were standing in the doorway of the club. The room was painted all red and loud music was blasting. There were little areas with bed and couches as men and women were doing their thing for the the people watching. Erin gripped onto jays arm harder as they both made their way to the bar on the other side of the club.

"You okay?" Jay whispered in her ear.

"Yep" she said looking up at him smiling at him as she slid into a car at the bar.

"What can I get for you lovely?" The bartender said smirking at her not even noticing Jays arm slid around her waist.

"My girl and I" Jay said slapping a twenty-dollar bill on the counter. "Will each have a whiskey please"

"Coming right up" he said a bit of attitude pissing Jay off. He was not going to let the bartender undress Erin with his eyes under his watch.

"Here you go" he said placing two glasses with whiskey on the table in front of Jay. He slid one to Erin and she threw it back very quick. The liquid burning down her throat but leaving a warmth in her stomach.

"I have a question to ask you" Jay said turning back to the bartender as he drowned his own whiskey. "Word on the street is you guys are selling something that makes sex even better. Me and my girl" he said nodding to Erin his hand still wrapped around her waist. "We want some"

The bartender nodded and picked up his cell phone out of his pocket he quickly sent a text before sliding it back. A few moments later a tall man with dark hair appeared in a dark suit and ushered the couple to follow him. Jar held onto Erin as they made their way down a hallway where there were multiple doors. The sound of music getting less loud as they walked. Finally, they stopped at the door and the man let them inside. It was a small room with a bed and couch obviously made for sex.

"So the bartender tells me you guys are looking for our sex drug" he said.

"Ya" Jay said. "One of our couple friends told us they tried it and it was the best sex of their life. Since then me and my girl have been itching to try it"

The man pulled a little baggy out of his pocket that contained two red pills. On the baggy there was a heart sticker. "Its called the love drug" the guy said. "It enhances your body's affects to touch and pleasure. Its fifty bucks a pill"

Jay pulled out his wallet and handed the guy a hundred. The man gave the bag to Jay who then slid it in his pocket.

"What are you doing?" The guy said.

"Were going to go home and test it out" Jay said. "My girl is a little shy; she fears people walking in on her" Erin blushed hard as she still held onto Jay.

"We can't allow the drug to be taken outside the club, if you want it you have to take it here"

"Common man, can you let it slide just this one time?" Jay pleaded.

"I'll have to talk to the boss, his rules" The man said before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

"I hope he's talking about Axel" Erin whispered to Jay.

"Ya me to"

A few moments later the door opened back up and the same man plus another guy walked in. He had blonde hair, was tall and a little bit on the thicker side. He was at least in his thirties. And he matched the photo they had pulled up at the district for Axel Samson"

"So my guy here tells me that you two want to take the love drug outside of the club. I'm sorry but that isn't allowed"

"Hey man" Jay said. "My girl is just a little nervous, its her first time taking anything for sex and she just wants to be in an environment she knows" he added smiling. "Plus we like to use a lot of toys" he said smirking.

Axel smirked back as he fist pounded Jay. "That's my boy. Good job man. She is a real looker" he said eyeing Erin, which caused a shiver down Erin's back.

"I'm Axel by the way"

"I'm Jay and this is Erin"

"Well I will let it slide and let you guys take the drugs home to try it. I like you" Axel said. "And I don't like a lot of people but I have a good feeling about you. Something I don't get to often"

"Thanks man, me and my wife thank you" And before Jay had even realized what he had said it had slipped out.

"Wife huh" Axel said eyeing Erin again. "I like it. And I like you. I hope to see you guys again here soon" Axel said shaking Jays hand and then the top of Erin's hand.

"Well I will let you know how tonight and this morning goes" Jay said smirking.

"Atta boy" he said turning around to leave the room before stopping at the doorway. "Have fun with her"

 **00000000000000000**

"You are an idiot you know that Halstead?" Hank said back at the district. The team had finished their mission and they all had headed back to the district to finish up before heading home.

"I know what I said was stupid, but it just slipped out. At least I got a sample of the drug"

"That sample of the drug is the only reason I am not whopping your ass. Wife? Like really?"

"I know" Jay said looking down at his shoes.

"Well it looks like this guy likes you, and trusts you which is good and another reason I am not going to kill you tonight" Voight added. "But because this is going to be a long undercover project. We have to take it seriously for this guy to believe you both"

"So what does that mean?" Erin said standing barefoot her heels in her hand.

"It means that because he thinks you two are married you are going to have to be. You two are officially married now"

 **What did you guys think? Leave me a review and let me know! xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2 Chinese Food and Beer

**I got such a great response back from all you guys, so thank you so much!**

 **Here's the second chapter**

 **Enjoy!**

 _"_ _So you two are officially married now"_

It had been two days since Erin and Jay had gone to the sex club and because of Jay saying that she was his wife when they went undercover she now had to officially be his wife. And that is what lead to this moment right here. Standing in Intelligence with Voight basically figuring out how the hell this 'marriage' thing was going to work.

"Alright here" Hank said dropping a sliver key into both Erin and Jays hand.

"What's this?" Jay asked looking at it.

"Your new apartment key genius. You wanted to be married well you got it!" Hank said glaring at Jay. "Its fully furnished so all you both need is clothes. Think of it as a gift from the district, that hopefully won't last longer then eight weeks"

Erin sat soundly at her desk listening to Hank go on and on. How was she and Jay going to make this work? Sure they were friends but there was nothing more to that and Erin and never lived with a 'spouse' so it was going to be interesting. Just then the panic rose up from her stomach and into her throat and for a second she couldn't breathe. All she could do was grab onto her stomach with both hands to comfort her panic and what she was hiding underneath her shirt. She was going to be living with someone who might at one point see her topless. And for a split second Erin thought she might puke. It took a few minutes but soon she was able to slow down the panic and calm her breathing so she could focus back on what Hank was talking about.

"Now here" he said opening up a two little velvet back boxes "Are your rings". He handed the simple silver band to Jay and the two rings to Erin. Hers was a silver band with five diamonds in the middle for her wedding ring and a sliver band with a huge diamond in the middle as her engagement ring. She took them out of the box and slid them onto her ring finger. They both sparkled in the light and she couldn't help but feel as if they were meant to be there. Jay looked over at Erin as Voight continued to babble. He noticed the way she was admiring the rings on her finger and he couldn't help but smile.

"Are you even listening to me Halstead?" Voight asked snapping Jay out of staring at Erin.

"Um yes" he said quickly.

"Really? So what did I just say then?"

"Uhhhhhh" Jay said looking down at the ground.

"I said" Voight said eyeing Jay with evil eyes. "That both of you need to go back to the club Friday night and get in good with Axel. He is our only hope of shutting this down for good"

"Okay you got it" Jay said.

"So are we supposed to be coming here to work every day as well?" Erin asked. "I mean if someone from the club see's us coming in here one morning were screwed"

"I know" Voight said turning to look at Erin. "We figured that out as well. Both of you will live the life of a married couple. Eat together, live together etc. I don't want either of you coming to the district encase someone does see you, so you both will report from the apartment using your phones and laptops"

Erin nodded her head as she looked back down at the rings of her finger.

"Oh and I almost forgot" Voight said as he pulled a piece of paper out from a file and handed it to Erin.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A fake marriage licence, just encase someone asks. It says you guys were married on October 17th of 2015, so just a little over a year ago"

"Okay, anything else?" Jay asked.

"Yes" Voight said. "Head over to your new apartment and try not to mess this up"

 **00000000000000000000000**

Erin and Jay had both gone back to their own separate apartments to pack up their clothes and anything else they would need. An hour later they met up at there new apartment as a couple. The took the elevator to the seventh floor and then walked down a hallway till they found apartment 712. Jay did the honours of unlocking the door and opening it up. They both stepped inside and looked around their bags in their hands. To the right was an open kitchen and just over to that was a small black two person dinning room table. There was a long wall that was just a window that looked over the city of Chicago. On the right was a flat screen that was hanging on the wall and a black leather couch that sat in front of it. They both walked around admiring the apartment as they made their way to the back. There was a door to the bedroom and inside was a king bed with a grey comforter and pillows and two back dressers on either side as a 'his and hers' type deal. They also had a door that opened into a walk in closet and another door that opened into a bathroom that had a double sink and a stand in shower with dark grey tiles.

"We could make great use of that shower huh?" Jesse said nudging Erin in the shoulder.

"Ha ha ha" she said glaring at him. "Very funny"

"I'm being serious"

"Oh I know you are, but you will never get me in there so good luck"

"I'll take that as a challenge" he said smirking at her as she smirked back at him. "But this is an amazing apartment. Better then my own one"

"Ya I know me too" she said looking around. "Thanks district 21"

"So what do you say? Unpack and then crack open a beer?" he asked.

"Please"

They spent the next hour unpacking their bags. Each taking their own dresser and loading it with clothes. Then Erin went into the bathroom where on one side of the sink that she had claimed as hers she started to lay down all her makeup and lotions and stuff until she came upon the last bottle in the bottom of the bag. The bottle of oil she used on herself each morning. The swing of nausea was back and suddenly she felt as if she might puke again. She slowly pulled the bottle out of the bag and sat it down next to her makeup never taking her eyes of the little bottle that haunted her. The unknown of what was going to happen with Jay left her feeling sick about what he might see on one day. But before she had anymore time to react a voice called her from the kitchen.

"Food and beer are here!"

"Coming" she yelled back. She quickly turned around and walked out of the bathroom towards the kitchen without looking back at the bottle.

Jay had picked up a six pack and Chinese food for the both of them and they currently sat at there dinning room table eating and drinking.

"So how is this going to work?" Jay asked a mouthful of rice.

"What do you mean?" Erin said swallowing her noodles.

"I mean is this the kinda business by day pleasure at night situation?" he said smirking and winking at her. Erin rolled her eyes at him as she took a swig of her beer.

"You wish" she replied back.

"Common it doesn't haunt you at night not knowing what this body looks like?" he said gesturing to himself.

"No" she said smirking at him.

"Well you must have brain damage then"

"The only person who has brain damage is you, husband" she said mocking him.

"Listen here Mrs. Halstead" he said pointing at her before laughing. "In all seriousness though. I want you to know I am here for you. I am going to protect you at all costs. This might be a dangerous game were playing but I am not going to let anybody in that club get near you or put their hands on you"

Erin sighed and looked into his eyes as she finished off her last bite of food. She could trust him and she wasn't sure why her gut told her too.

"Well if you're not going to let anybody put their hands on me you better keep that gun strapped tight to you" Erin said smirking at him.

"Oh its always strapped tight"

There was silence for a few minutes before Erin lifted her beer up in the air. "To partners and marriage"

"Cheers" Jay said clicking his bottle to Erin's before they both took a sip. And that was the end of there night.

 **So what did you guys think of this chapter? Next chapter they will be going back to the club. And what did you think of all the flirting and sexual tension between Erin and Jay? Let me know by reviewing! xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3 Too Much to Drink

**You guys are honestly amazing with your support. Keep those reviews coming because I love them!**

 **Enjoy!**

" _Cheers" Jay said clicking his bottle to Erin's before they both took a sip. And that was the end of there night._

Erin woke up to the sound of soft snoring. At first she freaked out but then she remembered that she was 'married' and when she slowly rolled over she was facing a sleeping Jay. His eyes were softly closed and his mouth was slightly open with soft snores. She just laid there watching him peacefully sleep as she smiled. There relationship so far on this undercover mission was getting better as each day came. They had only officially been married for four days and while it was friendship with Jay creating sexual tension like he usually did they seemed to be getting closer than just friends and partners. Just then Jay yawned and his eyes fluttered as if he was going to wake up like a baby but then he shifted his body position and wrapped his arm around Erin's waist. Erin snuggled into Jay's chest as she felt his body warmth flow through her and within a matter a minutes Erin had fallen back asleep.

Two hours later Jay was the one who woke up first. The first thing he saw was the blonde and brown hair and realized Erin was snuggled up into his chest. Her ear pressed against his heart. He tried to do a small stretch without waking her up but failed when she yawned and slowly opened her eyes.

"Good morning" he said sleepy rubbing his eyes. Erin turned her head and looked up at him. She then realized their position and she shifted off of him and moved a few inches away from him.

"Hey it's okay" Jay said reaching for her. "I didn't mind. I actually enjoyed it"

"Sorry" she said as she stretched her arms over her head and made a little squeaking noise as she did.

"That was cute" Jay said smiling at her from his place in the bed. Erin blushed as she looked down at her hands. So things with the two of them were progressing very fast and Erin was having trouble trying to keep up. Sooner or later he was going to know everything. And that everything scared the shit out of her.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom and then start coffee" she said sliding out of the bed letting her bare feet touch the hardwood. She got up and made her way to the bathroom in a t-shirt and shorts. She got into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She picked up the little bottle that she used everyday and tried to keep quiet as they daily sobs escaped her like they did every day. She rubbed the oil on her stomach and waited for it to dry as she peed. Just as she was finishing up she heard a knock on the door that scared her shitless.

"Erin are you okay?" Jay said from the other side of the door. "I thought I could hear you crying"

Erin quickly finished up and pulled her shirt back over her now dry stomach. She wiped her eyes quickly and fanned them with her hands to try and cover it up. She opened the door to the bathroom to come face to face with Jay.

"Your eyes are red" he said commenting.

"Ya I think I'm having an allergic reaction to this new lotion I bought" she said as she pushed past him. "This is the second time it has happened. Do you want coffee?" she asked changing the subject as she walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where she started the coffee.

"Um ya sure" he said kinda confused as he followed her. "So we have to go back to the club tonight" he stated.

"I know" she said hoping on the kitchen counter to sit on it. "What's the game plan?"

"Get in good with Axel is all I have been told by Voight"

"Okay" Erin said nodding her head looking into space. "Does Axel have a girlfriend, or wife, or mistress or something?" she asked.

"I'm not sure" he said pondering the thought trying to remember if he had ever mentioned a girl in his life. "Why?"

"Well I just figured you get in good with him, I get in good with his lady. Double team them"

"I like what your thinking" he said as he walked over to where she was sitting and took two coffee mugs out of the cabinet above her head and sat them on the counter next to her thighs.

"When we get to the club tonight I will mention it to him and see, if you can get in good with a girl she is more likely to spill details than he is"

"Exactly" she said smiling. Jay smiled back at her as he poured the coffee into the mugs and handed one to her as she stood in front of her one of his hands resting on her bare leg as they both drank their hot coffee in silence.

 **0000000000000000000000000**

Erin and Jay stood in there apartment together getting ready to leave for the club. Jay was in the bedroom just pulling on his suit jacket when Erin opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out. She was in a deep red strapless dress that was close to the colour of blood. The dress hugged at her hips and had a deep curve to show off her breasts. She looked up at Jay whose eyes were wide with his mouth slightly open just like the first time he saw her in one of those dresses.

"How do I look?" she asked giving him a bit of a twirl. She knew she didn't have to ask; she knew she looked great. But she just felt like giving Jay a bit of a show just to make him drool.

"Um, wow" was all he managed to get out of his mouth as she gawked at her in that dress. He loved it but he mostly just wanted to see her without that dress on and Erin knew it.

"We should get going it's almost nine" she said looking at her phone.

"Yep let's get going" he said forming his first full sentence since she stepped out of the bathroom.

"Oh and Jay" Erin said standing in the doorway of the apartment leaning against it giving him a smirk.

"Yes?" he answered looking over her.

"I'm driving"

 **00000000000000000000000**

Erin pulled the car up at the front of the club as she and Jay got out. Like last time she wrapped her arm through Jay's and didn't let go as they walked through the door, down the hall and into the club. It looked the exact same as usual. The music was loud and the lights were dimmed and people were giving the couples a good show all around the room. Jay watched Erin as she looked around.

 _Her six inch heels as she walked around like nobody's business, she murdered everybody and damn I was her witness._

They both walked over to the bar and the same bartender was working again.

"I remember you" he said smirking back at Erin.

"And I am sure you remember what we want to drink" Jay said holding onto Erin just to piss off the bartender. "Two Whiskeys"

As the bartender made their drinks Erin looked around watching the couples do there thing. When she received her drink she chugged it back like it was a sport letting the liquor warm her cold body.

"You want to go watch?" Jay asked.

Erin looked up at him through her long dark eyelashes. "Nope" she knew she was toying with him and she loved it. Watching him squirm was the best thing ever.

"Hey" Jay called back to the bartender. "Can you inform Axel were here"

"And you are?"

"Jay and my wife Erin" The bartender disappeared for a few minutes before he returned and went back to work. And a moment later Axel rounded the corner and walked up at the bar.

"Jay" he said making his way over to them as he shook Jay's hand. "It's so great to see you. I was hoping you would come back. And Erin" he said kissing the top of her hand. "So glad you guys could come back. I was just thinking about you both the other day" he said as he slid into one of the chairs up at the bar beside Jay who sat beside Erin.

"So what are you drinking?" he asked smiling.

"Whiskey" Erin replied before Jay could.

"Perfect!" he said as he ordered three for them.

 **000000000000000000000**

The three of them sat at the bar drinking for what felt like hours. Erin was on her fourth Whiskey and could feel a strong buzz coming on.

"So tell me" Axel said as he took a sip of his drink.

"How was the love drug in the bedroom?"

Jay leaned in so Erin couldn't hear him because what was going to come out of his mouth was sure to make Erin die of embarrassment or slap him.

"She has never cum so much in the four years we have been together" he said smiling; proud of himself.

Axel smiled back as he gave Jay a couple slaps to the back. "I told you man. It's amazing. Are you guys looking to buy anymore tonight?"

"Let me ask" Jay said turning to Erin. "Hey honey"

Erin looked up from her cell phone in her hand. "Ya?"

"You want a little extra something for the bedroom tonight?"

"Sure baby" she said smirking as she drowned the rest of her drink.

"Good man" Axel said. "I'll get some for ya" he said reaching for his phone to send a text.

A moment later a tall woman in sliver heels and a black dress came around to the bar. She had jet black hair that was curled and pinned away from her face. Her eyes were a bright blue and she had red lipstick on top of her very round plump lips. She came right up next to Axel and kissed him on the check.

"Hi baby" she said.

"Good evening darling" he said snaking his arm around her her tiny waist.

"Jay, Erin this my fiancé Sabrina"

Jay shook her hand before Sabrina walked over to where Erin was seating and sat down beside her.

"I'm Sabrina" she said.

"Erin"

"Is this your boyfriend?" she had nodding to Jay.

"Husband" Erin said.

"Nice, how long?" she asked.

"Just a little over a year. We were married last October"

"That's wonderful" she said ordering a drink for herself up at the bar as the music continued to blast around them. Their world only consisting of the four of them.

"Congratulations to you on your engagement yourself" Erin said taking her hand to admire the ring on her finger. "When's the special day?"

"Were hoping for a spring wedding next year. Around April or May"

"Well it is the perfect season for a wedding" Erin commented.

And for the next few hours the four of them just talked about everything. Jay told Axel about his time in the army and over sea's to find out Axel had done the same over ten years ago. Erin and Sabrina talked about colours, dresses, flowers and everything about weddings. It hurt Erin a bit inside knowing she had to make up all the details from her fake wedding, and she only imagined what her real wedding would look like when she finally did get married.

Soon Erin and Jay were both drunk off Whiskey and it was reaching 1 am.

"Well" Jay said standing up from the bar stool. "Me and wifey should get going its late"

"It was great seeing you again Jay" Axel said shaking his hand. "Here is my card" he slid a black business card towards him that had red writing on it. "My number and email is on there so contact me with anything you need. I hope to see you again soon"

"We should be back next Friday" Erin said towards Axel as she hugged Sabrina.

"Fantastic" he said a big smile on his face. "Why don't you give me a call in a few days and maybe all four of us could do dinner or something"

"That sounds amazing" Erin said as she shook Axel's hand. "We would love to have dinner with you too"

"Its settled then" Sabrina said. "How about Wednesday night?"

"Deal" Jay said hugging Sabrina. He then slid his arm around Erin's waist to help steady her. She was a little too drunk. "Damn Sabrina how much did you and my wife chug back?" he said laughing as Erin smiled.

"She ordered the last two rounds not me" she said as she walked over to stand by Axel's side.

"I am not that drunk" Erin said.

"Okay baby" Jay said as he took his jacket coat off to slid over her shoulders. "But we need to get a cab home. I'll call you Monday night about dinner" he said as he began walking down the hall with Erin on his waist.

"I look forward to it" he called back.

"I like them" Sabrina said turning to her husband.

"Me too" he said kissing her before they both headed to the back of the club.

 **00000000000000000000000**

Jay had hailed a cab from the club back to their apartment. In the car he had called Voight and told him that they had to much and needed to take the cab back so their car was left at the club. When they arrived to the apartment Jay helped carry a drunk Erin into the building and helped her get upstairs. He opened the apartment door flicking on the lights and she walked inside kicking off her heels and tossing them across the living room floor.

"That was so much fun" Erin said eyeing Jay.

"Really? Because besides for the alcohol I hate looking that guy in the face" Jay said as he unbuttoned the top two buttons on his white dress shirt as he relaxed into the wall.

"Well maybe you should hit up the wife" Erin said walking towards him. She stood so close that the front of their bodies were touching and their mouths were only inches apart.

Jay was sweating. He could feel it in his hands and on the back of his neck. Was this just drunk Erin? Or was she actually into him. Jay felt a million things about her. Love being the first one. He had been in love with her for months. He would do anything for her at all costs and now with her standing here next to him; so close he could feel her warm breath he wanted nothing more then to worship her and her body.

"I only want you though" he whispered out.

That simple word. _You._ Erin crashed her lips onto Jays probably leaving lipstick on his but she didn't care. This was one of the best moments of her life. Jay kissed her back with no hesitation as his hands slipped from her back to grab onto her ass. Erin wrapped her arms around her neck trying to get her body closer to his. Their lips moved in sync with each other as if it was a dance and they had performed it a million times. Jay's hand slid to the zipper on the back of her dress and unzipped it. He then proceeded to slide it down Erin's body to take it off but it didn't get past the line of her bra before she jumped and stepped back from him.

"I'm sorry" she said panting as she pulled the dress back up.

"Please don't ever be sorry for that" Jay said stepping closer to her as she stepped back. His face was flushed and his pants were now just a little to tight for him.

"I just…" Erin trailed off. "I can't in the light" and with that she ran off to the bedroom and shut the door.

 _It shouldn't have been happening. It couldn't have been happening. But Jay found himself standing in the battle field once again. In his uniform, a bullet prof vest over his chest and a rifle in this hand. All over he could hear gunshot's and screaming as people were dying all around him. His worst nightmare was coming true. Next to him stood his friend. Dressed in the same uniform the same rifle in his hand. He ducked behind some trees as he shot his gun a few times. Jay ducked just in time before a bullet could be lodged in his brain._

" _Man" his friend said as he pulled the trigger again. "I can't wait to go home. I got my girl and my son waiting for me and I plan to propose to her. I love her man. She has helped me through everything I couldn't imagine my life without…"_

 _And before he had anytime to say anything a shot gun was heard and it was aimed right at his neck. The bullet went right through his artery causing him to bleed out in only a matter of seconds. Leaving Jay to mourn his dead best friend who all he wanted to do was marry the love of his life._

Jay woke up with a gasp to a loud noise ringing in the room. He hadn't had a nightmare from one of his missions in over six months. His face was sweaty and he found it hard to breathe.

"Turn it off" Erin moaned from the other side of the bed. Her voice snapped Jay out of re-living that nightmare again to realize his cell phone was ringing. He picked it up and slide it open to answer it.

"Hello" he said all sleepy.

"Halstead" Voights voice came from the other side. "I need you and Erin here at the district in one hour"

"Why?" he asked rubbing his eyes.

"Taser certification"

 **Well I hoped you all liked this one, I know it was an extra long one. Now on my other stories I used to give out previews of the next chapter to someone depending on what review number they were so I figured I would try it out here as well. So the 31** **th** **reviewer on this story gets a sneak peak at the next chapter but you can't be a guest because I have to private message you. So please review! xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4 Voltage

**You guys are so amazing. This support makes me so happy! I love all of you guys. Now part of this chapter is based off of episode 15 of season 2 when they all got tasered.**

 **Enjoy!**

" _Taser certification"_

"Okay but our car is at the club" he said shifting to get out of bed.

"I know. I'm sending Atwater to pick you guys up. And when you get here your car will be here for you to take home"

"Okay see you in an hour" Jay said and then he hung up the phone. He looked over at Erin who was still sleeping; her face in the pillows.

"Er" he said poking her with his finger. "You gotta get up"

"Why?" she moaned as she rolled over and opened her eyes to look at Jay who was standing over her.

"We have to go to the district for some taster certification thing. Voight wants us there in an hour" Erin groaned as she sat up holding her head.

"My everything hurts" she said shutting her eyes.

"I would assume so, you were stumbling to get into the door last night" Jay said as he made his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Listen" Erin said as she got up out of the bed and followed him into the bathroom. "I don't remember much of last night but I do remember coming home, and jumping on you" she trailed off as she looked down at her feet, fidgeting. "And kissing you and I know this changes things and I…" But she didn't get the chance to finish her sentence before Jay leaned down and kissed her hard. He held onto her waist as he did so and she kissed him back. After a minute or so he pulled back and looked into her chocolate eyes.

"Erin. Don't kick yourself over last night. It changes nothing for me okay?" Jay took a deep breath before his next words came out. "I like you Erin. I like you a lot. I've liked you since we started working together over eight months ago. Okay? It might change something for you but not for me" And with that it was Erin who kissed him this time. She held onto him tight as both of their lips danced with one another. It was Jay who again pulled back.

"I would love to take this farther, but Voight will kill us both if were late"

"You're right" she said sighing as she let go of him.

"But Jay?" she asked looking up at his face.

"Ya?"

"I just want you to know that I really like you too. And I don't know how long it's been but I've just known for a while" she whispered.

"This changes nothing" Jay said wrapping his arms around her tiny waist. "Were adults, we both like each other, we are doing nothing wrong"

"But were supposed to be undercover" she said.

"I know and we still are. But what goes on here in our own apartment has nothing to do with the mission. We keep it professional"

"What about Voight?" she asked. "You know he will kill you"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him"

"Ya you say that until he finds out and cuts your balls off" she said laughing.

"Well we will cross that bridge when we come to it, but until then we are just us" he said lightly kissing her on the lips again. "But I am serious we only have like thirty minutes until we have to be at the district so get going" he said as she slapped her ass with the palm of his hand.

Erin looked shocked as she stepped away from him to walk into the bedroom to get dressed. "I am going to get you back for that" she said pointing a finger with a black painted nail at him.

"I would like to see you try" he said winking at her.

 **000000000000000000000**

Erin, Jay and Atwater all walked up the stairs to the intelligence unit where they found Hank, Antonio and Adam all waiting around in their desks for them.

"There's the happy couple" Antonio said spotting Erin and Jay. "How's marriage going so far?"

"Well I haven't killed him yet so that's a sign" Erin said sitting down at her desk.

"Oh please you know you love me" Jay said sitting down at his own desk.

"But I can still kick your ass" she said smirking at him as she reached into her pocket to pull out her cell phone.

"Alright" Voight said calling attention. "This guy should be here any minute for this stupid class. Once you are all done you guys can head home"

"Boss, is not being undercover more important then some Taser class" Jay asked.

"I asked the same thing too, but apparently its not" he said a pissed look on his face. Just then a middle aged guy who was a bit overweight with dark brown hair walked up the stairs.

"Hello everybody" he said setting down his silver case in his hand. "I am Dan Jenkins and I am going to be teaching you about tasering today"

"Well good luck to all of you" Voight said as he made his way over to his office.

"Uh you're apart of this to Sergeant" he called after him.

"I'll just stick to tickling perps to death" and with that his office door was shut and the blinds were drawn.

"You're welcome to go ask him again" Antonio said a smile on his face.

"I'm good" he said. "Alright well the rest of you gather around and let's get this over with"

 **000000000000000000000**

"Now the X two six sends fifty thousand volts through these two prongs" Dan said holding up a taser to show the group. Adam stood beside Dan not paying attention on his phone. "It disrupts the communication in your nerves. Now you want to make contact with the torso" he said gesturing to Adam's body. "The regions are shoulders, pelvis, abdomen and groin. S, P, A and G. Now you all have to be tasered to be certified. It is harmless but you will feel some pain and know what it is liked to be juiced"

"Okay man can we get on with it" Adam said rolling his eyes.

"Oh good a volunteer" Dan said before making contact with Adams stomach with the taser. The taser made a shocking sound as Adam groaned and fell onto the mat they had laid out. The rest of the unit laughing.

"That was worth the price of admission" Jay said between laughs as he watched Adam.

"You're next" Dan said smiling at Jay. Jay had a concerned look on his face as he went pale and then Erin piped in.

"I volunteer to tase him" she said holding up her hand. Jay panicked as Dan held the taser out to her and she took it in her hands. He slowly walked over to her as he felt the panic rise up in this throat.

"Okay well this doesn't seem official enough" he said.

"Where do you want it?" she asked smiling looking over his body. "S, P, A or G"

"Shoulders" he said firmly.

"G" Atwater and Dawson said at the same time with smiles on there face.

Erin smiled as she moved her hand that held the taser close to his groin.

"Don't you dare" Jay said but before he even had time to react Erin pressed the taser to his groin and Jay felt as if he was dying. He groaned as he fell to the floor moaning and panting as he felt his body's currents try to go back to normal. Erin smiled at her work as she handed the taser back to Dan and went back to sit beside Antonio. Atwater helped Jay get up and sat him down in a chair to help him calm down and breathe easily.

"Told you I would get you back" Erin said as she crossed her arms over her chest and smiled at a still panting Jay in the chair as he held onto his groin.

 **000000000000000000000000**

Erin watched as Atwater dropped from the taser. She couldn't help but laugh. All the boys were such baby's. Antonio helped him into a chair before Dan turned to Erin.

"You're up lady"

Erin looked at him kinda shocked and now she felt scared. "Oh I think we've seen enough" she said.

"The X two six does not discriminate against gender; march it over here" And before she knew it Jay had his hand around her arm and was walking her over to the mat.

"It's pay back time" he said smiling at her the taser in his hand.

"Oh common I was only joking" she said.

"Tell that to all of my children you just killed. Now S, P, A, or G" he said taunting her as he looked over her body.

"You're mean" she said pouting.

"Yep but you still have to live me with so" and right there he struck her with the taser on her hip and Erin made a soft whimper as she dropped to the mat holding her side. She could fell the electrical currents running through her body and the pain from the shock of the taser. Jay helped her up and held onto her.

"See it wasn't that bad" he said smiling.

 **00000000000000000000000**

After the course Erin and Jay got their car back and drove back to the apartment. Erin unlocked the door and stepped in. In had been a long day, she was tired and was also hungry. Jay followed in behind her as she dropped her keys on the small table beside the door and pulled her jacket off.

"You were very mean today" Jay said from behind her as he shut the door closed and shrugged his jacket off tossing it over a kitchen chair.

"Oh was I?" she asked turning around to face him. "I'm pretty sure you got me back"

"But not like that" he said stalking towards her as she walked backwards until her back was pressed up against a wall. He was so close that his chest was pressed up against hers. He grabbed onto her right wrist as he turned her around so fast she didn't even have time to take in what happened until she realized she was now facing the wall. Jay took a hold of her hips in his hand as he whispered into her ear.

"You have been a very bad girl"

"Mr. Halstead" she said trying to turn around to face him and failing when Jay held onto her very tight not allowing her to move. "I am your wife"

"I know" he whispered back. He took one of his hands off of her hip and used it to move her hair off of her right shoulder. He slowly bent down and pressed his warm lips against her neck causing a moan to escape her lips. He continued his assault on her neck as he sucked and kissed her neck, collarbone and shoulders.

"You know" she said a whisper. "There are other parts of my body"

"Oh really" he said in her ear as he pulled back from her neck. Erin took the two seconds he was distracted to turn herself around and smash her lips onto his. They held onto each other as they kissed, each wanting the dominance. Erin quickly pulled Jay's shirt off of his body and held onto him his bare skin pressed against her clothed body. Jay made his way to try and pull her shirt off but Erin stopped him and pulled back.

"Bedroom" she said out between heavy breaths as she took a hold of his hand and she pulled him in the direction. They reached the bedroom where Erin quickly turned off the lights and Jay shut the door as he pushed her onto the bed. He climbed overtop of her in the darkened room where he went to pull her shirt off of her body but she guided his hands to the zipper of her jeans. They continued to kiss as Jay undid her jeans and slid them off her body. She rolled them over so she was now straddling him as she continued to kiss him.

"God you are so hot" Jay said as he held onto her hips.

"I know what my husband wants" she said as she kissed down his bare chest to where his pants were and started to undo them. She slid them down leaving him in his boxers.

They continued to kiss both moaning and melting into each other. And that was the first night they spent together.

 **000000000000000000000**

 _Gunshot. All he could hear was gunshots. And people screaming, it was all screams. He couldn't figure out which one was louder over the other. His eyes hurt and everything was a blur. The green from the tree's, the brown dirt on the ground and the camo they all wore. His gun felt heavier then normal as he checked it to make sure there were bullets in it._

 _One_

 _Two_

 _Three_

 _Four_

 _Five_

 _Five bullets total before he had to re-load. A second later he saw a flash of the enemy's colours. He turned and fired only to find it had a blank. He fired again, nothing and again. There was nothing loaded in the gun. But then there was a gunshot heard and then he felt searing pain in his neck. The bullet was lodged just above his collarbone. And with nobody around he was left to bleed out on the dirt ground in the middle of nowhere._

He woke up not being able to breathe. This nightmare was worst then the last. He had to find a way to control these before they got to bad. He looked over at Erin who was still fast asleep. Her hair was tussled and she made soft noises as she slept. Besides for the nightmare their night had been amazing. God, he liked her so much. They had so much heat and chemistry and this undercover mission was now turning into something way more. At least for him it was. And with that thought and the sky still dark he rolled back over and went back to sleep.

 **000000000000000000000**

"Ill have the steak medium rare"

"And for you miss?"

"The lamb with roasted veggies"

"It should be ready shorty" the waitress said as she took the menus and walked off.

Jay and Erin were having dinner with Axel and Sabrina. It was a fancy five-star restaurant in downtown Chicago. The men were dressed in nice suits while both the ladies had chosen a small back dress. Sabrina's was a strapless one while Erin's was a one shoulder with a train behind her.

"So what do you do?" Sabrina asked Erin as she took a sip of her champagne.

"I am an interior designer and Jay is in security. You know all ex-military and all" she said smiling. "What do you do for work?" she asked.

"I run my own clothing and jewelry store"

"So Jay I have a favour to ask of you being security and military and all" Axel said

"Sure, what's up man?"

"I need someone to help me out" Axel said looking around as he lowered his voice. They were in the back of the restaurant at Axel's request so nobody was near by to hear what he was going to say. "Recently" he said slowly. "A lot of people have been dying because of the love drug. My lab can't figure it out. We use the same amount for very dose but it seems like the people who take it over three times end up dead. Now I know this drug is illegal and I could get at least five years but with all these people dying I'm looking at life. I can't afford that. I need you to help me out"

Jay sat there shocked at what had just came out of this mouth. "Um ya sure" he said. "What do you need?"

"I need eyes and ears around the police" he said taking a deep breath. "If the cops start catching on that my drug is the one killing them, I'm screwed"

"Okay I'll see what I can do" Jay said forming a small smile.

"Thank you so much" Axel said as he looked over at Sabrina. "We thank you"

 **0000000000000000000000**

"If the cops start catching on that my drug is the one killing them I'm screwed. Ha" Jay said mocking him later that night as they climbed into the car and shut the door's. "Are drug lords really that dumb? We've known about these deaths for over two weeks and yet he thinks we haven't caught one" he said laughing. "Damn sometimes this job can be a real joke"

"Hey" Erin said turning to look at him as she started the car. "Were in"

"Hell ya we are" Jay said as him and Erin fist bumped before they drove off back to the apartment.

 **Hope you all liked it! If there's anything you want to see send me a pm or leave a comment in the reviews and I will see what I can do! I will also be choosing a few people to get a sneak preview of the next chapter so keep on reviewing! xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5 Three Against Two

**Keep the support and the reviews coming! I love you guys**

 **Enjoy!**

 _"_ _Hell ya we are" Jay said as him and Erin fist bumped before they drove off back to the apartment._

"Okay so I want all the details" Kim said a huge smile on her face. Her and Erin were having coffee that Friday morning before Kim had to head off to work. "How was it?"

Erin laughed as she looked down at her coffee cup in her hand. "It was amazing" she said with a smile as she blushed. "I really like him, but I don't know what to do"

"What do you mean?" Kim asked as she sipped her drink.

"Things with us before we started this were good, and now its even better but I don't know if it's because were spending all this time with each other" she mumbled off. "I'm happy right now but I'm just afraid it's not going to last once were done"

"Don't say that" Kim said. "I think he really likes you and it's not going to end once you two stop officially living together"

"I just" Erin trailed off. "Every relationship I've ever been is has been good from the start but then it just ends crappy; and because we work together and are partners I can't have this ending crappy"

"I know what you mean" Kim said fiddling with the engagement ring on her finger. "Just takes things as slow as possible"

"To late for that" Erin said laughing Kim a long with her. "But ya the sex was amazing"

"Best you've ever had?"

"Oh ya" she said nodding her head.

 **00000000000000000000000000000**

"Oh what I have heard from my guys is that the police have caught word of this" Jay said walking around the apartment talking into his cell phone. "You need to find out what is happening with the drug before they do and you get locked up"

"Okay" Axel said on the other end of the phone as he sighed. "Thanks Jay, will I be seeing you tonight?"

"Yep"

"Okay let me know if you hear anything else"

"I will, bye" and with that he ended the call. Then he dialed another number and listened to it ring as he waited for the other end to pick up.

"Hello" the raspy voice on the other end said.

"Hey Voight, he bought it"

"You're in?" he asked.

"Yep the other night at dinner he asked me about helping him with this drug reign and all the overdoses. He trusts me and Erin and she has become good friends with his Fiancé. Were getting close to bringing this down"

"Okay good, keep it up"

"How much do we need on him?" Jay asked. "How much do you want to ding him for?"

"I honestly want him in the electric chair, but I will settle for life. I also want his Fiancé in there with him as well so we need to find something to link her to all of these things"

"Okay I will take down Axel and Erin will go for her"

"Okay good" he said. "Call me with any new updates"

"I will, bye" and with that Voight ended the call.

 **00000000000000000000000**

Jay and Erin sat at the bar again that Friday night drinking with Axel and Sabrina. Erin remembered to take it slow this time as she didn't need a repeat of last Friday.

"So Erin" Sabrina said sipping her drink through her straw.

"Do you and Jay have any kids?" Erin looked at her shocked as she wasn't expecting that question, her and Jay hadn't been briefed on kids and now it was up to her to come up with something; but she was damn good at lying.

"No" she said smiling softy. "But we plan too. We figured were both still young, there's no need to rush it. Besides we both want to do some traveling in the next two years so were gonna hold out on kids until then"

"Ah gotcha" she said.

"Do you?"

"I don't but Axel does from a previous marriage. But we do plan to have children once we are married"

"Oh I didn't know that"

"Ya he has a son named Daniel, he's twenty"

"Okay wow, gonna be a huge age difference between your children then"

"I don't mind it" she said shrugging her shoulders. She sat in the bar chair in a sliver dress that made her black hair look even darker. "Daniel is into some really bad stuff so if he's not around I'm not to upset by it"

"Oh" Erin said eyebrows raising as she sipped her cocktail. "Do you mind me asking?"

"Of course not" she said laying her hand on Erin's shoulder. "Were practically best friends by now" she took a long deep breath. "Daniel is the main dealer for Axel's drug. He's gotten himself into some deep shit by doing this and sooner or later he's gonna end up dead by a gang or in jail"

"I don't even know what to say" Erin said as she looked over at Axel and Jay talking on the other side of the bar.

"Ya me too" she said rolling her eyes. "I know it's his son and I am his stepmom but I don't agree with this drug thing. Sure it pays for private plane's and our own island but it's not worth it when my family is at risk. I want kids soon and I don't want them messed up with it"

"I hear ya" Erin said nodding her head. And she agreed with her. She did feel bad. Trying to start a family in the middle of a drug ring was not the easiest thing in the world, but then again who tries to start a family in the middle of a drug ring?

"I'm really glad were friends though" Sabrina said smiling at her. "I don't have very many female friends. I'm glad we met each other"

"Ya me to" Erin said as they cheered and clinked their drinks together.

"Can we make a deal?" Sabrina said a little smirk on her face.

"Okay?" Erin said smirking back at her. "I'm kinda afraid of what it is but alright"

"If were both ready to have kids around the same time can we try and get pregnant together?" she said squealing. "I know it sounds stupid but I have always wanted a pregnant bestie, and then our kids could be the same age and they could be best friends"

"I would love nothing more then to have you as my pregnant bestie" Erin said smiling as Sabrina squealed again and hugged her tight.

 **000000000000000000**

Before they went home Erin and Jay stopped back at that district to deliver they news about Axel's son.

"Alright Daniel Blaze, Axel Blaze's son" Voight said in the unit as he slapped a picture of Daniel on their white board. Adam, Antonio and Kevin all stood around with Erin and Jay both of them still in their attire from the club. Erin in a white dress and Jay in this black suit.

"Apparently he is the key seller of this drug. He's got a few priors. Possession of a weapon on school property and the possession of drugs. He did three months in Juvie when he was fifteen. But for the last two years he has been very quiet. Now we know this drug has been out for at least three months so if he has been the main seller that means he is laying very low and being very careful. Now I want some evidence on this kid in order to ping him alongside his father and Fiancé." Voight continued. "Tomorrow morning I want all security camera's checked on all the drug corners to try and get some evidence of him selling it. Now everyone go home and get some rest" he said as he rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Good work Halstead and Lindsay"

 **0000000000000000**

"Damn we are doing good" Jay said as he cracked open two beers and handed one to Erin. They both stood in their kitchen the next night after a long day of trying to find everyone in Axel's circle.

"I will consider us good when they are all in jail" she said as she took a sip of the beer and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Oh common" he said stepping in front of her as he put his beer down on the counter so he could place his hands on her hips. "We are pretty badass" he leaned in closer as he smirked at her.

"If anybody is badass it's me" she smirked as she took a long chug of the beer.

"Oh really?" he leaned in and kissed her neck softy as she let out a soft whimper. "I think I am pretty badass for the sounds I can make come out of your mouth" he continued to kiss and suck lightly on her neck. She slowly closed her eyes and softened into his touch as she set the beer on the counter besides his.

"Oh just shut up and kiss me"

Jay didn't need anything else. His lips connected with hers as they kissed passionately. He held onto her tight as they kissed as if she was going to disappear if he didn't. His hands traveled to the hem of her shirt and tried to pull it up but her hands stopped him. He pulled back from the kiss and looked at her.

"How come you never let me take your shirt off?" he asked. Erin went pale for a quick second as the fear settled into her stomach, making her feel like bile was forming in her throat.

"I'm just always cold" she said. She really hoped he bought her lie.

"Okay" he said. Erin let out a thank you to the lord as she knew he had bought the bait; at least for now.

"Lets go to bed" she said as she kissed him on the lips. Jay took a hold of her hand as he lead her to the bedroom and then shut the door.

 **Sorry if this seemed like a crappy chapter. I had hard core writers block as this is just a filler chapter to the big things coming ahead. Hope you all liked it. Some people will be getting a sneak peak of the next chapter so remember to review and let me know if you want to see anything! Love you all. xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6 Smoke

**You guys were honestly so sweet the last chapter. I thought what I wrote was awful but I got so many reviews. I love you guys! You are honestly the best.**

 **Enjoy!**

 _"_ _Lets go to bed" she said as she kissed him on the lips. Jay took a hold of her hand as he lead her to the bedroom and then shut the door._

Sweating and panting that was all she could hear when she woke up. The gasps as if someone was trying to breath underwater. She shifted over to face Jay. His face was full of sweat and it looked it he was having trouble breathing. Erin sat up in bed as she nudged him with her hand. Jay eyes opened so quick and he jumped when he realized where he was.

"Hey, hey" she said laying a comforting hand on him. "You're alright"

Jay kept panting for a few moments his hand on his heart before he finally was able to breath normally and he laid back down in bed as he closed his eyes.

"Thanks" he panted out. He re-opened his eyes to look up at her. She sat up in the bed her hair a mess but her eyes were wide and full of glow. Her face was smooth and her skin seemed to have some shine to it thanks to the sun coming through the bedroom.

"Are you okay?" she asked as she slid back down in the bed and laid beside him.

"Yeah, it was just a little nightmare" he said brushing it off as if it was nothing.

"Some nightmare to make you breath and sweat like that" she said as he looked at him. He knew that she knew but he didn't want to admit it. "Jay, this is the fourth time I have seen you have one of these in the last seven days" her eyes were concerned and her heart hurt knowing what he was going through.

"It's just some dreams from my mission" he said rolling his eyes. "Some of them are real but most of them aren't. I'm fine" he leaned up and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'm going to start coffee" he got out of bed in just his boxers as he left the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen. Erin sat in the bed for a few minutes as she rubbed her eyes. She knew Jay was laying to her. She could tell the dreams were having and effect on him. She didn't like that he was hiding it from her. But then again she was hiding stuff from him. She got up and made her way to the bathroom. She shut the door as she rolled her shirt up. She fought back the tears as she did her normal routine with her oil, she let it dry as she brushed her teeth. Once done she left the bathroom and made her way to the kitchen to enjoy her morning coffee with Jay.

 **00000000000000000000000**

"This is so boring" Jay said as he sat in the passenger side of the car. His elbow was propped against the window and his chin sat in his hand as he sighed.

"You have no patience" Erin said as she rolled her eyes, even through Jay couldn't see it from the black Ray Ban sunglasses she wore.

"I just want real action, is that a crime?"

They sat in their car about two hundred feet from where Daniel rumoured to be selling the love drug. He had yet to show so they sat there watching an empty corner in the bad area of Chicago. They both sat there for a bit longer the hot sun beaming in the car making them both sweat and when Erin yawed feeling like she should take a nap something caught her eye.

A boy wearing dark jeans and a blue shirt approached the corner with two other white guys dressed behind him. "There's our guy" Jay said nodding towards him. He had dark short hair and a little bit of a beard. He stood there for a few moments before a guy approached him. He nonchalantly looked around before handing him a couple bills. Daniel took the money before handing the guy a little baggy. Erin took her sunglasses off as she squinted to look closer at the bag in the guy's hand before he shoved it in his pocket before walking off.

"That wasn't the love drug" she said as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"What" Jay said turning to look at her.

"That baggy Daniel gave to him was white. It was cocaine. He isn't dealing the love drug he's dealing cocaine"

"We better call this in" Jay said as he took out his phone to snap some pictures of Daniel as another customer came up to him to buy.

"Hey Voight" Erin said into the phone. "We got something. We just caught Daniel selling cocaine" She was silent for a few moments listening to him speak on the other end. "Yep. Okay. Got it. Bye" She hung up the phone as she tossed it at Jay before turning the car on and throwing in in reverse, and in minutes they were back on a main road and out of the ghetto area of Chicago.

"So what did he say?"

"Just to lay low and to send him the pictures you got. It's good enough evidence to take him down by himself but Hank wants them all put down together"

"Okay good enough for me" he said as he looked out the window at the passing city and its bright colours as they made their way back home.

 **0000000000000000000**

The sun was just starting to set over the city of Chicago. The blinds were drawn open in the apartment letting the colours of pink, purple and orange fill the sky for them to see as the hours passed. Erin was laying down on the couch her eyes lightly closed feeling like she could take a nap. Just as she felt like dozing off a warm pair of lips pressed against her forehead and she groaned as she opened her eyes to see Jay looking overtop of her.

"Hi" he said softly as she brushed a stray piece of hair off her face. Her eyes shut again as she sighed.

"I'm tired" she moaned.

"I know" he said leaning down and kissing her this time of the lips for only a second. "But Axel just called and asked if we could come to the club tonight"

"Uhh" she groaned again this time opening her eyes open fully. "Its Wednesday night. The club is probably dead why do we have to go?"

Jay smiled as he rolled her eyes, she was a piece of work but he loved it. "Because he asked us too, and it's our job" Erin pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest like a four-year-old child who was just told no. "Oh that's a cute face" he commented laughing. "It's only seven, I told him we would be there after nine. So you can nap for a bit and I will order some food and then we can go"

"Chinese?" her eyes opened wider.

"Of course" he kissed her again on the lips. Erin held onto his face as he did so even though he was upside down leaning over the couch. She smiled into the kiss as she pulled back and rolled over onto her side shutting her eyes letting herself fall into a light sleep.

 **000000000000000000**

"Uhhhh" Erin groaned. She couldn't reach the zipper on the back on her dress to zip it up. She was bending her arm behind her trying to reach it but no luck. Just as she was about to change out of her dress her cell phone started ringing. She walked over to her dresser and answered it.

"Hey Hank" she said one hand holding the phone the other still trying to zip up the dress. "Were about to head out to the club, what's going on?"

"We got more news on Axel" his raspy voice came out the other end. "We sent some more undercover workers in there and find he's running a trafficking ring. He's got a back room where he keeps girls and then sells them overseas for money. We have a lead that he's got about four girls at the club right now waiting to be sold, but he's already sent over seventeen girls in the last four months. And the rumour is nine have died before even getting there"

"Oh my god" she breathed out and stopped trying to pull her dress up as she sighed and rubbed her forehead with her hand. "We have to take him down as soon as possible"

"Listen" he said back. "When we convict this guy, he is never going to see the day of light ever again. We got stuff on the son and him but we need something on the wife, she is going down with them. I will not let her get by"

"Okay you got it. Thanks. Bye" and with that she hung up the phone. She suddenly felt a wave of nausea hit her and her leaned over one hand on her stomach as she tried to stop herself from puking. It passed just as soon as it came out and she sighed a relief as she went back to her dress, she was going to try once more before she gave up but with one last tug she got the rest of it zipped up. The beautiful dress was her 'little black dress" the sides were cut out and she looked drop dead gorgeous in it. She grabbed her little clutch off the bed and her phone from the dresser as she opened up the bedroom door and walked out her heels clicking with her.

"You're never going to believe this" she called to Jay.

 **0000000000000000000000000**

Erin had been right; the club was dead. There was hardly anybody in there and there were even less workers than customers.

"Hey guys" Axel called from a table when he spotted Erin and Jay walk in.

"Hey man, how's it going?" Jay said shaking his hand. Erin slid into the booth fixing her dress making sure it didn't slide up to far to give anybody a show. Jay slid in after her.

"I just wanted to make sure everything with you guys are good" he said sipping his drink.

"Were great" Erin answered. "Where's Sabrina?"

"Oh yeah" he said sitting his drink back down. "She wasn't feeling well this evening so she decided to stay home. She actually asked me to ask you if you would want to go visit her. She needs some company" Erin looked at Jay who gave her the nod of approval.

"Yeah of course I'll go see her" Erin said about to stand up to leave the booth.

"But Erin" Axel said. "I think she might be pregnant" he said sighing as he looked down and fiddled with his hands. "We both decided we were going to wait until after we get married but if she's pregnant now, I don't know where her head is at and how she feels" she smiled up at her. "Could you possibly try and find out for me? I'm just worried about what's she's thinking"

She smiled back at him as Jay slid out of the booth to let her slide out. "I'll se what I can find out and I will let you know"

"Bye baby" jay said kissing her on the lips. "Drive safe"

"Are you okay for me to take the car?"

"Of course don't worry about it, I'll just take a cab home"

"Okay bye" she said kissing him again. Axel slide her a piece of paper just as she was about to leave with the penthouse address on it. She looked it over as she walked out of the club and then slide it into her clutch. She walked over to the car the wind blowing her hair, as the cool winds of the October took over Chicago. She unlocked the car, slid in, started it and pulled away from the parking spot.

The radio was playing some club music and it filled the silence in the car as she drove along the road. Up ahead of her the street light that was red had turned green and she took her foot off of the break to the gas as she drove forward. Her tires had just passed the lines and her car was just in the middle of the intersection with nobody around her when she didn't have time to react. A car from the other side ran through it's red light going at a fast speed and smashed right into the driver's side of Erin's car. Erin smashed her head off of the steering wheel nocking herself out as her body was pinned in by the car. A huge gash on her head left blood flowing out covering her face as she lay in the car unconscious, as smoke escaped from both of the cars.

 **Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Leave me a review and maybe I'll pm you a sneak peek of the next chapter ;)! Happy reviewing! Xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7 Running Through White Walls

**I love you guys! Don't hate me too much lol.**

 **Enjoy!**

 _A huge gash on her head left blood flowing out, covering her face as she lay in the car unconscious, as smoke escaped from both of the vehicles._

He was running. He didn't know for how long or for how far but he knew it was for a long time. All around him was blurred white walls and the smell of cleaners. The alcohol burned his nose as he continued to run looking for section E. Erin. That was all he could think of. How did this happen? Why did this happen? He rounded a corner and ran through a door way that had E written on the top. He slowed down to a fast pace when he saw Voight standing in the general waiting room, his hands crossed over his chest.

"Where is she!" Jay yelled grabbing Voight's attention. "I want to see her!" Voight took a hold of Jay's arms to stop him. "Let me go I want to see her!" he yelled at Voight. Tears threatened to escape his eyes but when Voight took his hands off of him to let him settle down he used one to wipe the water forming in his eyes.

"You can't see her right now" he said gently, more gentle then Jay had ever heard his voice before. "She's in surgery"

"What happened?" he said breathing in deeply trying to calm himself down, but it wasn't working.

"She had a vein exploded in her brain. It caused internal bleeding so there in there draining the blood and closing up the vein. They also said she might need a kidney transplant. They were damaged in the accident but they don't know how badly. And she's got some pretty bad blood bruising that they will have to drain" Jay couldn't hold it back anymore as tears welled up in his eyes and escaped.

"Hey" Voight said as he walked him over to a chair. "She's going to be fine. You and I both know Erin is the strongest person in this entire universe. She is going to walk out of this hospital like nothing happened"

"I have to ask" Jay said hunched over in the chair his arms resting on his legs. "Was this an accident, or something else?"

"I've got Mouse on it right now, trying to find out anything"

"What about the other driver?"

"When CFD got there the other driver was gone. No sign of anybody"

"So they just left her there to die" he choked out. He rested his face in his hands as he took a long deep breath trying to steady his heart rate. "I swear to God when I found out who did this and then just left her there I'm going to…"

"Hey, don't think badly right now okay? All she needs is our positive thoughts and prayers. I'm going to go step out to make a phone call and grab some coffee I'll be back in a bit" he stood up and patted Jay's back before turning around and leaving down the other hall.

Jay wasn't sure what time it was. It was dark outside but what time had he left the club when he got the call? Nine thirty? Ten? His phone was dead and he couldn't bring himself to look up at the clock above the nurse's station. He didn't want to know how long she would be in there for. He had dozed off just a bit and woke back up when Voight came back with coffee for the two of them. They sat there a little while longer before a tall doctor with deep brown hair and blue eyes walked down the hall. He wore blue scrubs and had a face mask in his hands, he also had his hair pulled into a blue scrub cap. His eyes were tired and Jay could see the dark circles around his eyes, his face was neutral so he didn't know what news he brought.

"Erin Lindsay?" he asked.

"That's us" Voight said standing, along with Jay. "How is she?"

"I'm not gonna lie, she is in rough shape. That car accident did a number on her. We were able to drain the blood out of her brain from the vein rupture, and close it up. But she's got massive swelling so we need to make sure that goes down. We also drained all the blood bruises in her body, and she doesn't need a kidney transplant so everything is good with that"

"So she's going to make it?" Jay asked.

"We have very high hopes. It's going to be a hard road of recovery for her, but she's got all the odds" he said smiling.

"When can we see her?" Voight asked.

"Well she's in the ICU right now and they need to do a blood transfusion. She's going to be knocked out for at least the next eight hours so not until the morning. Visiting hours start at nine"

"Alright, thanks doctor" Voight said shaking his hand. He turned around to Jay as he rubbed his eyes. "You should go home and rest"

"I want to be here when Erin wakes up" he said firmly.

"You heard the doctor. She's not going to be out for a while and you can't even see her until the morning" Voight looked up at the clock and checked the time. "It's almost two am" he stated making Jay turn to look up at the clock. "Go home and get some rest and something to eat. And in the morning you can come see her" Jay nodded his head knowing that was the right thing to do, he was starving and exhausted.

"Okay" he mumbled.

"I'll see you tomorrow Halstead" He patted Jay on the back as he walked back down the hall from where he came over four hours ago; his only wish to have Erin in his arms.

 **0000000000000000000000**

He didn't sleep at all; he had dozed off for about thirty min around six am but that was it. All he could think about was Erin. He had pictured the car crash in his head but didn't even want to know what it looked like in real life. When he closed his eyes all he could see was her sweet face but then it was gone and she was covered in blood. He had tried to shake the images from his head but it hadn't work. Around eight am he finally left the house to grab some coffee and then head over to the hospital. By the time he got there it was only eight thirty and no matter how much he begged the doctor they wouldn't let him go in to see her early. When he made his way into the waiting room the same one from the night before he was greeted by people from the district and almost everybody from firehouse 51.

"Hey" Kelly said pushing through the people when he saw Jay. "What's the story? They won't tell us anything"

"Uh she's in rough shape" Jay said mumbling as most people quieted down to here what he had to say. "She had a vein rupture in her brain and a lot of blood bruising. They did surgery last night to close up the vein and drain out the excess blood and they also drained the blood blisters. They did a transfusion last night and that was the last thing I knew. The doctor told me though that she has got high hopes for making it. It's going to be a tough road but we all know Erin"

"Yeah" Kelly mumbled as he looked down, still in his firefighter gear. "Thanks for letting us know"

"I'll keep you updated" Jay said.

"Is there a Jay Halstead here?" A voice cut through the chatter. Jay turned around to see a female nurse with blonde hair and green eyes. She had a chart in her hand and a stethoscope around her neck.

"That's me" Jay said lifting up his hand.

"Erin Lindsay is awake and is asking for you" she said. She turned back around and left back down the hall. Jay had to fight the urge to run down the halls of the ICU.

Room 34

35

36

37

38

39.

Room 39 was where she was staying. He stepped into the doorway and saw a very beat up Erin laying in bed. She had white gauze wrapped around her head, and her left eye was black. Her lips were busted open and as he looked over he saw an IV bag hooked up into her arm. She looked like death in a bed.

"Hey" he mumbled out as he made his way into the room. He saw Hank sleeping in the chair in the far corner and kept his voice low.

"Hi" she whispered out. Jay made his way over to here and with a quick look at Hank to make sure he was still sleeping he kissed the top of her forehead before taking a seat next to her bed.

"How do you feel?"

"Like death" she mumbled out as she tired to laugh but flinched when she realized how much it hurt.

"I bet" he smiled at her as he took her hand and held onto it, his thumb slowly sliding back and forth over hers. "Did the doctors tell you what happened?"

"They briefed me last night. I woke up around five am and asked the nurse what happened. She told me everything"

"Do you remember the accident?" he asked.

"Kinda" she looked like she was racking her brain trying to remember. "The light turned green and I went through the intersection and the next thing I knew I just felt this blow to the side of the car and then I woke up in the hospital" she sighed as she closed her eyes for a second before opening them back up again. Jay could still see the little shine she had in her eyes even after all of this and that made him smile. "Do they know who hit the car?" she asked.

"When CFD got there nobody was in the car and there was no sign of anybody around"

"Huh" she mumbled. Just then Hank stirred in his chair and opened his eyes. Jay dropped his hands from Erin's and settled them back into his lap.

"Hey kid" he said as he stood up and stretched and then made his way over to her. "How are you doing?"

"Just look at me" this time she did laugh and even though it hurt it felt good.

"All you need to focus on right now is healing and getting better okay? For right now the case is on pause" They both nodded their heads. "Now that you're up I'm going to head home to shower, get some actual sleep and eat something alright? I'll be back later tonight"

"Okay" she said as she smiled at him. He grabbed his jacket nodded at Jay and then walked out of the room.

 **00000000000000000000000**

Jay spent the rest of the day with Erin in the hospital. They said she was going to be there for at least five days before they would send her home. Jay woke up out of his sleep in the chair. He realized he had fallen asleep holding Erin's hand. He looked over as he blinked to clear his vision that she had fallen asleep to. She looked just like she did in the apartment only this time with bruising, bandages and wires hooked up to her. Feeling mother nature call he stood out of the chair and left the room to find a bathroom. He didn't even make it ten feet down the hall when he spotted his brother Will talking to a nurse.

"Hey man" Jay said as he got closer. Will finished his conversation with the nurse before she walked away and he turned to her.

"Hey, I saw Erin I'm so sorry about your partner" he said. Jay nodded his head in thanks. "But hey I need to talk to you about something" Will said as he pulled his brother into an empty room with no patients. "I know you guys are…" he mumbled keeping his voice low meaning undercover as Jay nodded. "But I have to ask" there was silence for a moment. "Are you guys together?"

"What no!" Jay said defending himself from the truth. "Why would you ask that?"

"Seriously dude?" Will said rolling his eyes. "Tell me the truth"

Jay was quiet for a second as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Yes" he finally said. "We are together"

"Okay" Will said. "So Erin's blood work came back from the lab and we found something"

"What?" Jay said getting panicky, this day had already been bad enough as it was, he didn't need more bad news on top of it.

"We found some little higher levels of hCG than normal in her body"

"Okay?" Jay said not knowing what that meant.

"hCG is the hormone that is released when fertilization occurs" Jay had a confused look on his face still not knowing what that meant and Will rolled his eyes.

"Jay" he said bracing himself. "Erin was pregnant"

He left like he couldn't breathe for a second all he heard was the word pregnant. But then the other word, _was._

"Was" he said his breathing hiking up. "As in…?"

"She lost the baby"

 **Try not to hate me when you review xoxo. Now for this week I am letting you guys choose when you review. So when you review let me know if you want to see a sneak preview about the baby or about Erin's scars ;) You choose and YOU let me know and maybe you will be sent a private message with your choosing! :) So review and have a good week! xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8 What I Lost Doesn't Define Me

**You guys make me so happy, I love all of you! And to all that celebrated the other day; Merry Christmas!**

 **Enjoy!**

 _"She lost the baby"_

He left like he couldn't breathe or move. Like time was standing still. Everything around him was blurry as he tried to focus in on what was happening and what he had been told. Erin was pregnant. _Was_ pregnant. His mind couldn't wrap around it. All he pictured was an infant in his head. His thoughts were interrupted by Will shaking his shoulders. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts but it didn't work. He blinked a few times before focusing back on Will.

"I know this is a lot to process" He said his hand on Jay's shoulder for comfort. "Especially since I know you two weren't trying to conceive. I'm sorry brother"

Jay wiped a tear that formed in his eye as he looked at Will. "Would Erin of known she was…?" he said trailing off.

"No" Will said shaking his head. "The levels of hCG was just spiked enough for the lab to take a closer look. She couldn't have been anymore then two, three weeks' pregnant tops. A home test would have come up negative" Jay nodded this head. "Which is why I wanted to tell you myself. I knew she wouldn't have known and I figured you should have been the one to tell her not a random nurse"

"Thank you for that" Jay said. "Uh but the accident" he said looking down at his feet feeling tears well up again. "Would it have caused her to lose the baby or…"

"I'm not sure" he said. "We never really know why women have miscarriages. Because she was only a few weeks' pregnant miscarriages have a very high risk in the first month. It could have been natural or by the crash. We wouldn't be able to know" Jay was silent for a few moments trying to take it all in. "But listen, I have to get back to work but if there is anything you or Erin need just get a nurse to page me"

"Okay thanks man" Jay said. Will pulled Jay into a hug that was needed. Will pulled back all too soon to go back to work. Jay needed the comfort, and he didn't know how he was going to tell Erin.

 **00000000000000000000000**

Jay had taken a little walk around the hospital floor to try and figure out a way to tell Erin. Would she be upset? Happy that she wasn't pregnant anymore? Her reaction scared him more than actually telling her. He had never thought about kids before; the job didn't give much room for a life. After about fifteen minutes of walking around he headed down to the cafeteria to grab some coffee. It was almost an hour later by the time Jay came back to the room. He rounded the corner to see her sitting up in her bed her eyes glued to the TV in her room.

"Hey" she said eyeing him as he slowly walked in. "Where did you go? I woke up about thirty minutes ago and you weren't here"

"Yeah sorry" he said sitting down in the chair next to her bed, the coffee cup in his hand. "I woke up and saw you still sleeping so I just went for a little walk to stretch, and then I ran into Will and we walked for a while"

"Oh okay" she said "what did you guys talk about?"

Jay paused for a moment trying to force the lump in his throat to go down so he could speak. "Oh he just wanted to make sure you were okay. He heard about the accident and wanted us to know if we need anything to just page him" he forced a smile on his face to fake it. Erin smiled back at him.

"That's sweet of him" she replied. She bought it. "Hey could you do me a favour?" she asked shifting the blankets off of her body.

"Yeah of course" he said standing up. "What do you need?"

"Can you help me to the bathroom? My muscles are still really sore and I can't walk without assistance, and I really don't want to page a nurse to help"

"Yeah" Jay said sitting his coffee on the bedside table. Erin kicked the rest of the blankets off of her body as she shifted to sit up and put her legs over the bed. She slowly put her feet on the floor and stood up. Jay grabbed onto one arm and the other held onto her hip to steady her. She slowly took a couple of steps as she made her way to the bathroom. As she walked Jay stood behind her a hand still on her hip and the other under her arm encase she dropped. The ties that held together the back of the hospital gown that Erin wore had come undone without her knowing exposing Erin's back to Jay. Her entire back was covered in scars. At least eight of them. They were long huge gashes that were across her back. Someone had obviously taken a knife to her backside. The scars looked like they could have been fresh but at the same time they looked old. He could see the markings of where the stiches were to sew them up, but it had only made them worse.

Why hadn't Erin told him about these? He looked over at her as they finally reached the bathroom and she was completely unaware that he had seen these markings. She wasn't even aware that her hospital gown had come undone.

"I'm good now" she said steading her hand on the frame of the bathroom. Jay let go of her as she sat down to pee. When she was done Jay helped her back to the bed as he stared at her back. He couldn't imagine what the hell had happened for her back to get like that. It wasn't an accident that he was sure of, someone had done that to her. To his girl. And even though he felt so much anger in him he couldn't let her know. And besides, he had much more important stuff to talk to her about.

 **0000000000000000000000000**

"I'm glad your feeling better kid" Hank said. He was sitting in a chair next to Erin on the left side of the bed while Jay sat next to her on the right. He had stopped by that evening to see how she was doing and to bring her some real food.

"Thanks" she mumbled as she sipped water out of a plastic take out cup. "So when do we get to go back?"

Hank laughed at her request. "You're joking right? I've honestly been thinking about pulling you two from this case"

"What no!" Erin said shocked as she looked at Voight. "You are not pulling us from this case, we are so close"

"While that may be true Erin, you just got in an almost fatal car accident. You can barely even walk. Much less take down a drug lord" Erin pouted at him as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Cute face" Voight said commenting. "Now that may have worked when you were fifteen and only on Camille, but not me kid sorry"

"She gives me the same look when I refuse to order her takeout for three nights in a row" Jay said sipping his coffee as he chuckled to himself. Voight laughed along with him letting Erin turn to look at him.

"When I can finally walk without assistance" she said pointing a finger at him with the look of death in her eyes. "You're dead".

"But I'm serious" she said turning around to face Voight again. "You can't pull us from this case. Were to invested in it now, and Axel and Sabrina are going to wonder where we are when we don't show up" Voight rolled his eyes as he thought about Erin's comment, he looked over at Jay who gave him the same look she did. It read, 'please don't pull us from this case'

"Okay" Voight said as he huffed out a sigh. "I won't pull you from it. But both of you have mandatory two week leave. I want you in fighting stance when we take them all down"

"Okay deal" she said nodding her head. Just then Jay's phone started to ring. He excused himself from the two as he stepped outside to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Jay, thank God are you both alright?" Axel's voice came from the other line. "Sabrina called me to tell me Erin never showed up and then we saw the car accident on the news. Was it Erin?"

Jay was silent for a moment before he answered. "Yeah it was Erin's car in the accident"

"Oh my God" his voice dropped. "How is she? Are you doing okay?"

"She's okay I guess" Jay said as he started to walk as he talked. "Were both holding up, it was a pretty bad crash"

"I'm just glad you both are doing okay" he said. "Sabrina gives her love to Erin, I hope to see you guys soon"

"Thanks Axel, yep you too. Okay bye" and with that he ended the call and walked back to Erin's room.

"Who was that?" Erin and Voight both said at the same time when they saw Jay re-appear.

"Axel" he said sitting back down in his chair. "He called because you never showed up to see Sabrina and then they saw the accident on the news so he called to ask if it was you" Voight stood up out of his chair as he grabbed his jacket that was hanging off the back of it.

"Well you guys are still good with them so keep it that way. I'm going to head home for the night but I will be back to see you tomorrow" and with that he was out of the room and gone.

Erin sighed as she nestled closer into the bed pulling the blankets up to her neck. "Come here" she mumbled at Jay as she shifted farther over to one side of the hospital bed.

"You know we can't do it in a hospital Er" Jay said standing up from his chair with a smirk. "Your heart monitor will go off"

"Not like that you perv" she said rolling her eyes. "I'm cold and you are always warm so get over here" He laughed as he slid in next to her in the tiny bed. He pulled the covers over him so they both snuggled into each other, Erin resting her head against Jay's shoulders.

"So when are we going to tell him?" Jay asked breaking the moment of silence between them.

"Who?"

"Voight, sooner or later he is going to find out were together Erin and I would rather come clean to him then him finding out"

"I just got into a massive car accident that could have killed me I would rather not talk about telling Voight that were sleeping together okay? Can we please change the subject?" she mumbled as she softly closed her eyes.

"Okay" He said reaching for her hand underneath the blankets. She took it without hesitation her cold skin pressed against his warm skin as she tried to raise her body temperature. "But there is something I need to tell you…" he trailed off. She softly opened her eyes to look at him.

"What is it?" she asked. Jay took a deep breath; it was now or never.

"I sort of lied to you earlier, when I told you about me and Will's conversation" he looked over at her their eyes connecting as he forced himself to breath again. "He didn't want to just see if you were okay"

"Alright?" she said confused. "Then what?"

"He wanted to tell me that your blood work came back and it had a little bit of a high level for your hCG hormone"

Erin's breath caught in her throat with what he was about to say next.

"The lab looked into more. They found out the reason it was high was because…" he couldn't finish the last word but he didn't have too.

"I was pregnant" she mumbled out tears welling in her eyes.

"Yes" he said as he felt the tears forming in his as well. "You lost the baby Erin. _Our_ baby"

He watched as she closed her eyes and the tears that had formed in her eyes were now streaming down her checks. She leaned into Jay's shoulder the tears soaking his gray shirt but he didn't care. He wrapped an arm around her as she snuggled more into him. And they both laid like that for hours as Erin sobbed about the thing she lost that she never knew she had.

 **Please don't hate me when you review and next chapter includes the full backstory of Erin's scars! So some special reviewers will be getting a sneak peak on that ;) so remember to review! Xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9 Bed Talks

**Happy New Year guys! Thank you to everyone who has been staying with this story, I am so grateful. Now this is an emotional chapter and it covers a pretty bad topic so just so you are all forewarned.**

 **Enjoy**

 _He watched as she closed her eyes and the tears that had formed in her eyes were now streaming down her checks. She leaned into Jay's shoulder the tears soaking his gray shirt but he didn't care. He wrapped an arm around her as she snuggled more into him. And they both laid like that for hours as Erin sobbed about the thing she lost that she never knew she had._

The sound was terrible, she hated hearing him like that. He was sweating and panting and groaning in his sleep. Erin gently shook him with her hand as she laid on her back next to him in bed. It had been one week since the car accident. The hospital had released her two days ago and she was on strict bed rest for the next few days. She was able to get up and walk around on her own now, all the blood bruising was gone and her CAT scan and MRI had all come back clear with her brain. She shook Jay's shoulder again this time harder as his eyes suddenly snapped open and he took a long inhale of a breath. He looked over at Erin as he panted for a couple of seconds before he was finally able to form words out of his mouth.

"Thanks" he sighed out on a deep breath as he sat up in the bed and ran a hand through his tangled hair. He was shirtless and the morning sun that came through the window made his body look even better then it did, as Erin licked her lips.

"I think you need to do something about these nightmares you're having" she said as she rolled over onto her side to face Jay. "Or see someone"

"I'm fine" he said brushing it off.

"Don't lie to me" she said her eyes suddenly turning hard into rocks as she starred him down. "You have been having these nightmares for weeks now and every time I confront you about them you tell me your fine, but you're not fine. And you know it" Jay took a long deep breath as he looked around the room avoiding her sharp eyes on him.

"We don't lie to each other huh?" he said finally looking at her. "So what's this big secret you have been hiding from me since we moved in together?" Erin's eyes went from hard, to shocked and back to hard in under two seconds and Jay knew she was starting to panic.

"I don't know what you're talking about" she said rolling over onto her back so she didn't have to look him in the eye.

"That's bullshit and you know it" he said as he slid down into the bed and forced her to roll over and face him. "You lock the bathroom door all the time, I have never seen you without a shirt on even though we are having sex and there's a little weird bottle with foreign writing on it in the bathroom that I know you use everyday" She was still silent and Jay knew she was trying to cover her ass. "And before you try and lie to me again" he said pausing as he took a deep breath. "I saw your back. The day I helped you to the bathroom the back of the gown came undone and I saw your back and the scars Erin. So please" he begged out as she reached for her hand. "Tell me"

He knew he was pushing her too far, and she may never talk to him again after that but he had to know. He saw a tear form in her eye and before it had time to escape her eyes she wiped it away. "I'm scared" she mumbled so low that if Jay hadn't been inches from her he wouldn't have heard it.

"Of what baby?" he said holding her hand firmly. "You know you can tell me anything"

"I'm scared once you know that you're going to freak out and leave just like everyone else has done" This time more tears formed in her eyes and some flowed down her checks but she didn't bother to wipe them away. She had done more crying in the last week then she had done in her entire life.

Jay brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face and they both laid in bed together on their sides facing each other. "There is nothing you could say, do, or show me that is going to make me leave okay? You can trust me Erin" he paused just before the next words came out.

"I love you"

And it was in that moment that time felt like it stood still. Her heart was beating so fast she felt like it was going to explode out of her chest. And her next move was the biggest thing she had ever done in the last ten years of her life. She slowly pushed off the covers off of her body and then slowly pulled her shirt up to wear it sat just at her breasts. Jay sat up a bit to look down on her. Just like her back her stomach was covered in scars. Twelve to be exact as he counted. They were long lines across her stomach in different sizes and angles. Some of them crossed over with one another. The skin around them was red like they were fresh but Jay could see the stitching marks. The skin was uneven and jagged. Jay hesitated for a moment before he brought his hand up and slowly ran a thumb over the marks one by one, sending shivers down her back and tears to her eyes once again.

"How?" he whispered out resting his hand on her stomach. "How did you get these?"

"Ha" she said choking on a laugh. "That's the worst part" She brought her hands up to her eyes where she rubbed them. The whites of her eyes red and wet from her crying.

"I know you don't want to tell me" he said gently. "But we need to be open with each other Erin, okay? Please just tell me"

Erin took a long deep breath as she closed her eyes and waited a minute before speaking once again. "Okay you know the whole story with me and Voight, and how he took me in when I was sixteen right?" Jay nodded his head. "Well right before he took me in I was with my mom, she was coming off of a high one day and needed more drugs so she gave me money and sent me down to her usual dealer that was a block from our house. I was fifteen at the time" she paused again making sure she was breathing as she continued. "When I went there it was our usual guy but he had friends with him. They were all hitting on me and calling me an object and stuff" she mumbled out. "Right before I was about to leave one of his friends pulled a knife on me. I didn't know what to do" The tears started flowing again from her eyes as Jay wiped some of them away with his thumb as he listened very carefully without saying anything.

"And they uh…" she trailed off. "They sexually assaulted me and that's how I got all of these scars on my stomach and back. They just kept running the knife over my skin while they raped me" At this point tears were filling Jay's eyes as he he imagined what she had gone through.

"That night I showed up at Voights house my shirt covered in blood from all the cuts. He took me to the hospital where they had to sew me up and do a transfusion from all the blood I had lost. After that Voight made me move in with him. I've been trying for fifteen years to heal them so they would go away but they wouldn't. They have looked the same every day since that night and there is nothing I can do to change the way they look no matter how hard I try"

"Who else knows about these?" Jay asked his first words in along time.

"It was just Voight until you now" she said. "I have hated myself for a very long time because of these markings"

"These scars don't make you weak Erin they make you strong. They have shown what you have gone through and survived"

"You don't truly know the feeling of being weak until you are in a situation like that" she said swallowing hard as she turned her head to look out the window of the bedroom that they shared before she turned her head back to him. "I have hated myself for the last fifteen years because of what I see. That sound you could hear every morning was me sobbing as I put an oil on my stomach to try and heal the scars better. I gave up on my back about six years ago since I can't even see them. You are the first person in fifteen years next to Voight that has seen these scars. The reason I didn't tell you or show you earlier was because I thought you would freak out and get creped out by them and leave"

Jay sat up as he pulled Erin to sit up with him. He took her face between his two hands and pulled her lips against his. And just like that time stood still again for her. All she could think about was this moment and how she wanted it to last forever. It felt like fire is her bones, and like her soul had returned to water and that she felt alive again. She never wanted this moment to end. After a few minutes Jay pulled back with a smile on his face.

"I am never going to leave you Erin. I told you I love you" She looked down as she fiddled with her hands in her lap.

"I know" she mumbled out.

"So why are you so scared?" he asked. "To open up to me? To fall in love?"

"I'm scared of being the only one who falls"

He pulled her in for a kiss again. "You don't have to worry about being the only one who falls. I have been falling for you every single day since we meet, and since we started our mission I have been falling even harder. Just let me love you" Those words were enough to turn her bones into mush. She never in her life had this feeling before for anyone. He was truly someone special.

"What about you?" she asked. "I've told you everything now, but you still haven't told me the truth about you"

This time it was Jay's turn to let out a long breath. "When I was overseas I had pretty bad night terrors. About the people we lost and what we could of saved but didn't. They haven't been this bad in years. I don't know why all of a sudden they're back"

"Are you having regrets about your time in the military?" she asked softly. She reached out to place her hand on his check for comfort.

"No never" he said shaking his head. "It was hard but I will never regret what I learned over there"

"Maybe it's a warning sign" he said chuckling. "Telling you something bad is about to happen"

"Your car accident was the worst thing that has happened to me. And no amount of dreams could have warned me or prepared me for this"

"You don't need to worry about me, I can take care of myself"

"I know" he said. "But I do worry about you. Anytime you have ever had to reach for your gun my heart drops. I don't want to lose you"

The tears then again welled up back in her eyes and she was sure she had done enough crying for the next ten years. "I don't want to lose you either"

Jay then smiled as he shifted himself out of bed only wearing a pair of black sweatpants as he extended his hand out to Erin and she took it sliding out of bed to stand on her feet. Still holding her hand, he walked towards the bathroom Erin following behind him like a little girl. He pulled her into the bathroom where he went for the shower and turned the water onto warm. Without saying anything he reached for the hem of Erin's blue t-shirt that she slept in and for the first time he slowly pulled it up and over her head where he then dropped it on the floor. In the light her scars were more dominant against her pale skin but it only made him love her more.

He reached behind her back and unclipped her bra letting it slide off of her shoulders and onto the floor next to the shirt. He then did the same to her shorts and her underwear leaving her completely naked. He then stripped himself pulling off his sweatpants and boxers before taking her hand and both of them stepped into the shower. The warm water sprayed against both of their bodies as they each held onto one another.

"I told you I would get you in this shower one day" Jay said smirking.

"Oh shut up" she said as she stood on her tippy toes and kissed him hard against the lips. They both fought for dominance with their mouths as their bodies were pressed up against one another with the warm water sliding over their bodies. Jay then pulled back and knelled down as he started kissing her stomach. Over each scar he would place his warm lips to them causing Erin to shiver under warm water. When each one had enough love and affection he stood back up again and kissed her back on the lips before mumbling.

"Your scars are beautiful" she smiled at him before kissing him and then mumbling herself.

"Oh, and by the way I love you too"

 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and that the scars and Erin's backstory was worth the wait! I know there was no baby this chapter but there will be in the near future. Please remember to review! xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10 High as Ever

**Did anybody watch the crossover last week with fire? That car chase scene and the Linstead make out had me screaming lol**

 **Enjoy!**

" _Oh, and by the way I love you too"_

It had been three weeks since the car accident. The doctor had just given Erin the all clear to go back to work and she was more excited then ever. Some other people though, didn't feel the same way she did.

"Maybe you should just take another week off" Jay said as Erin pulled their new black car into the underground garage of the district.

"Why?" she asked turning to look at him for a brief second. "The doctor gave me all the clear, so I can go back to work"

"I know" he mumbled as she parked the car and turned it off. "But I just worry about you" Erin turned and looked at him as she leaned in for a brief kiss before pulling back.

"I know but I'm not just going to sit still and look pretty. This is my job; this is what I want to do"

"I know" he mumbled as they both got out of the car. "I just wish it wasn't"

"Look on the bright side" she said as she opened the door to head up to Intelligence. "If this wasn't my job we never would have met"

"And that I am grateful for every day" he said looking around for anybody before leaning in and kissing her before they both headed up the stairs.

 **000000000000000000**

"Erin!" everybody yelled when she and Jay appeared from the back room. They spent the next few minutes in hugs with everybody each making sure she was okay.

"I'm fine guys" she said after a full round of hugs. "If I wasn't the doctor wouldn't have cleared me, but he did which means I'm okay"

"I'm glad your back kid" Voight said smiling at her before turning to the team. "Now, besides for Erin's accident nothing new has come up. The clubs have been quiet the last few days and Daniel hasn't been on his usual corner selling drugs. Which mean's they think something is going on and they might be keeping a low profile"

"Any news on the accident?" Jay said turning to Mouse.

"Nope" he said sitting in his chair. "I have no witnesses but I am trying to crack the code on the security camera that was right at the intersection of the crash. See who came out of the car, if there was even anybody in the car"

"There had to have been someone in the car" Jay said rolling his eyes.

"Well" Atwater said from his desk. "CPD was only three minutes out from the time of the crash apparently. If someone was driving the car they wouldn't have just walked away with a couple of scratch's meaning they couldn't have gotten far. But CPD checked the entire area and didn't find anybody or any sign of anybody"

"Then who called in the crash?" Erin said confused. "If there was nobody around to witness it who called it in then?"

"Ah" Mouse said a smile on his face. "That's where things get fun. See the government has put up these new cameras at intersections to catch people who run reds or do other illegal stuff. But they also have this new feature that if an accident happens and that camera catches it, it sends a signal to a nine one one operator stating where the crash is at so they can send people. It's encase of situations like these where no one is around to call the camera's now do it for you"

"So we have no evidence of who hit the car, and nobody around to call it in because a camera did it" Jay said huffing out a breath in frustration. "Fantastic"

"Listen" Voight said. "Maybe you two need a few more days off"

"No!" Erin and Jay said at the exact same time. "I mean" Jay said as he looked at Erin. "Were good sarg, no worries"

"Alright well" he said as he looked at everyone. His eyes were blood shot red and he had dark circles under his eyes. Erin's accident wasn't just affecting Jay. "Keep searching, looking and even go out if you need too. Halstead and Lindsay you guys can head back to your apartment and maybe hit up the club again in a few days, and see where we are at. All I want done right now if finding out about this crash, it is priority" and with that he was back in his office with the door shut behind him.

 **0000000000000000000000000000**

The car ride had been silent for the two of them when they drove back to the apartment. It had been a rough couple of weeks. Jay wasn't sure who was getting the shitter end, him or Erin. Yes, she was in the car accident and had no idea what had happened to her but Jay was the one who had to wait to make sure she was going to make it and be alright. And even though she was the one who lost the baby it was their baby. They both weren't sleeping well at night. Both of them waking each other up by either screaming, thrashing or crying; and they both did all three.

When they walked into the apartment and took their jackets off Jay suddenly felt the little lump in his pocket and remembered what he had. He was sure it was going to brighten the mood of this shitty day.

"So I have something for us" he said a small smile on his face; proud of himself. She turned around from the kitchen with a worried look on her face.

"Jay" she said her hands up in defense. "If you have an engagement ring in your pocket right now I might scream" His smile dropped from his face and was placed with a scared look himself. "I'm just not ready to be engaged right now with everything happening so if it is a ring I am going to have to say no" his smile was back.

"It's not a ring" he said walking towards her.

"Oh thank God" she said letting out a breath, she than noticed the smile on his face and her worried look set in. "They way you are looking at me right now is freaking me out and honestly I really wish you just had drugs in your pocket"

"Well you guessed it, it's drugs" The worried look was still on her face and her brows pressed together. "Excuse me?"

"It's drugs" he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag that held about three grams of weed in it.

"Are you joking?" she said as she snatched the bag out of his hand. "Were cops, and it's illegal!"

"First off" he said snatching the bag back. "We are off duty so it doesn't matter, and second it was illegalized two months ago in the state of Illinois. So ha" he gave her his signature smile and she couldn't help but melt into it and smile back.

"I was thinking" he said wrapping his arms around her small fragile waist. "That we light this puppy up, get a good buzz going and then order a pizza"

It didn't even take her two seconds to agree. "But I'm taking the first hit" she said snatching the bag back once again.

 **00000000000000000000**

It had been one hour since they had been home. Jay had rolled a joint for them and they took turns as they smoked it off their balcony. The result had been a very high buzz, the both of them laughing so hard Erin basically pissed her pants. Now they currently sat on the couch in front the TV with some show that was on that neither one was paying attention to. An extra large pizza with extra cheese sat on the table in front of the couch with both of them four slices in.

"As much as I hated this idea, it was an amazing idea" Erin said as she took another bite of her pizza and then washed it down with a sip of her beer.

"You are welcome" Jay said leaning over to place a feather light kiss on her lips before finishing off his fourth slice.

"Hey" she said pulling his attention from his now fifth slice to her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course baby, what is it?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" he asked with a mouth full of food.

"The other night" she said. "Our conversation in bed. Did you mean it?"

Jay thought back to that night and remembered what had happened.

 _She had woken him up by thrashing and yelling in her sleep. He had to shake her awake before she woke up in tears with him by her side._

" _Hey it's okay" he said wiping the tears with his thumb and lightly brushing away stray hairs that were stuck to her face with sweat. "Another bad dream?"_

" _It was the face" she mumbled as she sat up in the dark bedroom. "I could see a baby's face"_

" _Shhh it's alright I'm here now" he said sitting up beside her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his chest._

" _I still can't believe what happened" she mumbled. "I never would have assumed I was pregnant, I thought we were careful…" she mumbled off._

 _Jay was silent for a few moments. Since they had come home from the hospital two weeks ago neither one of them had mention the miscarriage, he had been waiting to see if she would bring it up._

" _Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly._

" _Would you have wanted it?" she asked not even answering his question. "If I hadn't have lost the baby would you have wanted to keep it?"_

" _The chance to have a child with someone who I love more then ever, I would give my entire world to have a baby with you" She smiled at him through the dark room not knowing what time it was._

" _Would you have wanted it to be a boy or girl?" she asked._

" _A girl, the chance to have someone with your eye colour and dimples I couldn't pass up" he smiled. Talking about what had happened was a good coping mechanism for the both of them._

" _Names?" she asked again._

" _I've always like Charlotte, or Valerie. You?"_

" _I've never thought about girl names but Katherine is really pretty"_

" _I like that name"_

 _They were both quiet for a few moments, the pitch black room seemed to make the silence worse between the two of them. After a few moments she was the one who broke it._

" _I had never thought about having children until what happened" she mumbled. "After what I grew up with I could never imagine myself as a mother" Small tears slipped out of her eyes and she let them fall down her check and then off her face hitting the comforter that covered her waist._

" _You are not your mother" Jay said sternly._

" _You don't know that" she said back._

" _I do. And I know you enough to know that no matter what you grew up with and what has happened to you and what you have done. There is nothing that could turn you into your mom"_

" _Would you ever want children with me?" she asked looking at him. Even though he couldn't see in the room he could see her glowing eyes, that glow had never gone away since the day he had met her, and he hoped it never would._

" _I would give anything to have children with you. To spend the rest of my life with you and have half you and half me running around would be the best thing in the world. I love you"_

" _I love you too" They both leaned in and kissed heavily and one thing lead to another and soon clothes were being taken off and bodies were being worshiped. And beside the bed on the bedside table the clock read 3:27 am._

Jay was drawn back into the real world after thinking about their conversation that night.

"Of course" he said setting his beer down on the table to move closer to her on the couch. "I want children with you now and I will want children with you in twenty years. What you don't see that I do is that you will make the best mother in the entire world. You are so caring and compassionate. You and drawn to helping people and loving them and I know it's hard for you to think about being a mom because of your past, but all of your amazing qualities that made me fall in love with you in the first place; is what will make you an amazing mom to our future children"

"Wow" was all she could manage to get out of her mouth. The weed was still having it's affect on the both of them making them high and tingly all over. "No one has ever said anything like that about me, ever"

"It's all the truth. Our conversation in bed, what I just told you now. Everything. I will never lie to you Erin Lindsay"

"God you turn me on so much" she said as she stood up from the couch and moved to sit right back down on Jay. She straddled him, each leg was on either side of his body. "This smoking idea was the best idea ever" she said a little smirk on her face. "I just feel so good" she hummed the last part out her eyes closing as she leaned into Jay. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held onto her.

"Does this make you feel good" he said slipping a finger underneath her shirt on her back as he traced patterns across the scared skin and then pressed his warm lips against her collar bone. He felt her shiver at his response and her body temperature shot up and he swore he could almost feel heat radiating off her body like a fireplace.

Jay had never felt a connection like this before with anybody. She was his sunlight, and his stars. She could make him laugh at 3pm or 3am. He didn't think he had ever smiled as much in his entire life until he had met her. He planned to marry her someday and have kids as well. Watch them grow and then head off to college, the two of them retiring in his family's cabin. He could see it all. His entire life ahead of him. And every single moment involved the girl sitting on his lap.

 **Hope you all enjoyed it writing this chapter felt a bit odd and I'm not sure its very good...Please review and let me know! xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11 Evidence

**Wow okay so a lot of hate on the last chapter... I also had a couple of questions. 1) Yes Erin in this story has had addiction problems but she used pills and alcohol so weed isn't a big deal. 2) I took the idea of them smoking from that episode when Jay was working for that weed company. I was kind of stuck on idea's for that chapter thats why I threw it in there. So I hope you all enjoy this chapter a lot better!**

 _He could see it all. His entire life ahead of him. And every single moment involved the girl sitting on his lap._

Jay knew he was pissed it was written all over his face. He didn't think he had ever seen him so angry. He was almost afraid of what he might do.

"This is fucking insane!" Voight said slamming a file on Jay's desk. "We still have nothing!? Absolutely fucking nothing on Sabrina!?" Jay didn't know if it was a question or a statement. This undercover mission was currently sitting at seven weeks, and Voight was getting real impatient. The first four weeks had been going well and then Erin's accident had put everything on hold for about another two. And now almost four weeks after her accident they had found nothing on what happened and had nothing on Axel's fiancé Sabrina.

"Why don't we just put Axel and his son away and then get the wife after?" Adam suggested. Jay could see the red in Voight's eyes and swear steam almost shot out of his ears. That was _not_ a good question to ask.

"I do not want to have to repeat myself!" he said his blood obviously boiling. "ALL of them are taken down together! Does everybody here understand that!?" Jay, Erin and the rest of the unit nodded their heads before he stomped back into his office slamming the door after him.

Erin signed as she rubbed her eyes with her hands, obviously frustrated. "Do you think he will ever give up on the accident?" she asked to Jay.

"No" he said shaking his head. "And neither will I"

 **0000000000000000000**

They both sat at home on the couch neither one saying a word. The TV was on with a crappy reality show playing, and even though both of them were staring at it they weren't paying attention. Erin was partially mad at Jay because of the whole car accident thing. He was obsessed with trying to find out who it was but just thinking about it gave Erin a headache. All she cared about was that she was safe and okay now, but Jay couldn't seem to get it out of his head.

"I'm sorry" The voice broke the silence between the two and Erin's thoughts. She turned her head to look at Jay who was looking at her.

"I'm sorry for getting mad about not letting things go" Erin shifted closer on the couch so she could reach for Jay's hand. He took it and placed a kiss on the top of it. "You just have no idea what I went through when you were in the hospital. I could have lost you, and the thought of that…"

"Hey" she said stopping him to rest her hand on against his check. "You have to stop thinking like that okay? All that matters is that I am here and I'm fine"

"I'm not going to give up" he said staring at her eyes like he was staring at her soul. "I am going to find out what happened and who did this and I am going to make them pay.

"Jay…"

"I'm serious" he said. "Nobody not even you are going to stop me. This is my job, and you are my girl. And I am going to figure out who did this to you"

"Okay" she said taking a long deep breath. She knew she couldn't argue with him any longer about this. There was nothing she could say that was going to change his mind.

 **000000000000000000**

The end of November Chicago had been struck with a cold front and a warning of three feet of snow headed their way over the course of the next three days. Jay had been called over to the district to pick up some extra background paper on Axel and Sabrina. Mouse was still working hard to crack the security code on the camera that may have seen Erin's car accident. Erin stayed at home that day, she wasn't a fan of the cold at all so she was going to stay home to run more checks on the drugs and sex clubs.

"Hey" Antonio said when he saw Jay climbing up the steps into the bullpen.

"Where's Lindsay?"

"At home" he said unzipping his winter jacket and sliding it off his shoulders. "She refuses to go outside unless its mandatory because of how cold it is"

"What a baby" Antonio said laughing from his desk.

"I said the same thing to her" he said before Voight walked out of his office and caught eye's with Jay.

"Halstead can I see you for a minute?" he said nodding his head to his office. Jay dropped his coat on his desk and followed him into this office before shutting the door.

"What's up sarge?" he asked folding his arms over his chest.

"Here is that extra paper work you requested" Voight said handing him a folder from his desk.

"Thank you"

"Also" he said as Jay headed for the door. "How is Erin doing? I know it's been rough for her these last few weeks, but she's not really letting me know how she's holding up" he sighed.

"Um" Jay paused. "She's doing better now, I guess. A couple of nightmares here and there but nothing serious"

"And the baby?" he asked. Jay froze in this spot, he was pretty sure his heart beat had stopped and that he might vomit.

"What?" he barley managed out of his dry mouth.

"How is she handling the miscarriage?" he asked again. Jay thought he was going to vomit. How the hell did he even know? In that moment he wished that an earthquake took down the district and with him under it. Jay was pretty sure he was quiet for a solid five minutes before he spoke again.

"I am her emergency contact Jay. I saw the report at the hospital"

Jay created enough saliva in his mouth to wet it so his words would come out of his mouth. "I'm afraid to say anything in that fact that you kill me so I'm going to keep quiet"

"Jay" Voight rolled his eyes. "Sit down" he pointed to the chair in front of his desk. Jay slowly but surely slid down into the seat so he was now sitting right across from him.

"I am not going to kill you" came the first words out of his mouth. "I knew you two were fooling around and I didn't kill you then"

"I don't know what to say" Jay mumbled looking down so he didn't have to face him. "She didn't know she was pregnant until she miscarried. Will told me at the hospital and I told her"

"And how is she handling it?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "It was a shock to both of us. We've talked about about it but were kind of grieving separately"

He nodded his head and sighed. "Listen, I am not mad about what happened and what's going on with you two. What I'm nervous about is that this incident could cause her to go off the deep end again. And you and I both know how bad that get's when she does" Jay nodded his head.

"I'll make sure it doesn't happen Voight"

"Hank" he corrected him smiling. "You can call me Hank, but not at work"

Jay smiled back at him as he stood up from his chair. "You got it Hank"

"Now get back and make sure you're standing with her" Jay smiled even more as he nodded his head one more time before leaving the office and shutting the door behind him.

 **00000000000000000000**

He could hear music coming through the door of their apartment before he even opened it. He stuck his keys in the lock turned them and then opened the door. He stepped in closing and locking the door behind him. He looked to his right to find Erin cooking in the kitchen while dancing around to the music that blasted from her phone.

"Hi baby" she squealed when she saw him. She ran over and placed a warm kiss on his mouth before pulling back. "Dinner will be ready shorty" Jay looked down at her. She was wearing matching black bra and underwear and over had Jay's red flannel that was unbuttoned allowing him to see her stomach and her scars.

"Are you drunk?" he asked as he kicked off his shoes and coat and made his way into the kitchen to follow her. On the kitchen counter next to the stove and whatever she was cooking for dinner was a bottle of whiskey. The first few gulps gone from the new bottle.

"No" she said eyeing him with a scowl. "I just have a light buzz"

"What's the occasion?"

"I just wanted to have a little fun, while I made dinner"

"Okay" he said laughing a little bit but there was hesitation in his voice. Not even an hour ago Voight had warned him about her spiraling and now he came home to her drinking. "So Voight pulled me into his office today" he said changing the subject.

"Uh oh what did you do?" she asked.

"He just wanted to talk and ask how we were doing" he said. "And wanted to know how you were dealing with the miscarriage" he quickly added hoping she didn't hear but she did. Erin's head whipped around so fast he thought she had broken her neck.

"What?" she asked. "How the hell does he know about it?"

"Apparently" he said as he sat down in one of the dinning room chairs. "He is your emergency contact, and he saw the hospital report"

"Shit" she mumbled. "I forgot he was. So what did you tell him?"

"I just said we were both handling it differently. He just wanted to make sure you didn't go off the deep end" he nodded towards the bottle on the counter. Even through her buzz Erin was very well aware and she knew what he was getting out.

"I only opened it because I had another dream" she said. "I can't stop seeing a baby's face" Jay opened his arms from where he sat and she practically ran over. She sat down on his lap burying her face in his neck as he rubbed her back. "I didn't realize how much I wanted it until now" she whispered as a tear ran down to check that Jay couldn't see. "I want the baby back" And that was the first time since the accident that he had heard her saw she wanted it. All the other time's it had just been Erin asking him if he would ever want children, she had never told him if she had wanted the baby had she not lost it. And it was in that moment that Jay's heart broke knowing they both lost something together that they loved and wanted.

 **0000000000000000000**

Erin awoke to the sound of ringing. She opened her eyes and rolled onto her side trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. After a few blurry seconds she blinked her eyes to clear her vision to find it was her cell phone from her bedside table. She grabbed it in her hand and unlocked the call pressing the phone to her ear as she closed her eyes.

"Hello?" she groaned into the phone.

"Erin, you and Halstead need to get down to the district right now" Voights rough but sharp tone of voice came through the other end. "We found something from your accident"

 **000000000000000000**

Twenty minutes later Erin, Jay, Mouse, Atwater, Antonio and Voight were all standing around Mouse's desk. It was 3:30 am and Erin yawned rubbing her eyes.

"I finally cracked the video surveillance video tape from that café across the street" Mouse said. He clicked on a file on his laptop and up popped a video. He pressed play and the entire group gathered around closer to get a better look. The glow of the computer lit up the darkened room and with no sound from the video the only sound in the room was the breathing of everybody.

The video showed the intersection at 9:39 pm that night. No cars were driving so the video was just still for a few seconds. Until in the camera view Erin's car appeared as she drove through the intersection and then the black SUV from the other side ran through the light and smashed into Erin's car. She cringed watching the video at what happened. Not even thirty seconds later another small black car drove through the intersection and stopped right at the accident. Then the door of the black SUV opened, a person got out of the car ran over to the other one opened the door and hoped in and the car and drove off.

"Go back, pause it, and zoom in" Jay said his eyebrows pressed together as he watched. Mouse rewound the video to the point of the crash. They re-watched as the person in all black got out of the car. There he paused it and zoomed in on the face of the person who caused the crash.

Everyone was silent as Erin's eyes widened and Jay's mouth hung open.

"Who is it?" Voight's raspy voice asked.

"It's Sabrina" they both said in unison.

 **DUN DUN DUN. Hope you guys liked it! Leave me a review! xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12 One Last Time

**Wow okay so like no review's on the last chapter even though over 100 people get a** **notification when a new chapter is posted...I feel like everyone is slowly losing interest in this story but I still have so much more idea's... Well let me know about this chapter**

 **Enjoy**

 _"_ _Who is it?" Voight's raspy voice asked._

 _"_ _It's Sabrina" they both said in unison._

"Sabrina?" Voight asked his eye's wide and eyebrows raised. "As in Sabrina the women you are trying to put in jail. She was the one who caused the accident"

"That's her" Erin said on a long breath. "How do they know?"

"They either figured it out themselves or someone snitched" Jay said re-watching the video. "The point is they know" panic rose in the room. Erin's breath caught in her throat and suddenly she was no longer tired at almost four in the morning.

"So what do we do now?" she said turning to Voight. His face was stern and he was staring into space thinking.

"We don't know" he said. "They don't know that we know so we work it. Point is" he said pointing at Mouse's computer from where he stood. "That video is enough for intentional vehicular homicide for her. She's looking for at least 10 years. We have enough to put them all away. So let's do it"

"So how do we play this out?" Atwater said his arms crossed over his chest.

"Halstead and Lindsay go to club on Friday. That's in two days. They go in like nothing is wrong and then we barge down the door and take them all down"

"I like it" Erin said. "I can't wait to put this son of a bitch away"

"Until then everyone lay low. No contact, no phone calls, nothing. We don't know how they found out about you two and I don't want to give them anything else. On Friday I will contact you two with the plan. And that's it" Everyone nodded their head, and when Mouse yawned Voight looked at his watch.

"Jesus, everyone go home and sleep. The rest of you can come in at eleven tomorrow"

The rest of the unit packed up their things and then everyone headed out to their cars in the dark parking lot of the district. The only light coming from a couple of lamp poles and the full moon above their heads.

 **0000000000000000000**

"So you ready?" Jay asked from the kitchen as he made a pot of coffee that Thursday morning.

"Ready for?" Erin asked as she made her way out from the bedroom wearing a pair of cheeky black underwear and Jay's grey t-shirt. Her hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head.

"For this to end" he handed her the cup of hot liquid and she took a sip, the steam coming off the mug and disappearing into the light.

"No" she smiled as she shook her head. "This has been the best undercover mission ever"

"Me to" he smiled at her. He was shirtless with only a pair of grey sweatpants on. The apartment was warm compared to outside where the first snow fall of the season had hit Chicago. The streets were filled with the white dust while the air seemed to get colder every single day. But even half naked the two of them were toasty where they were.

"I don't want this to change" he said moving closer to her in the kitchen. "Move in with me"

"What?" she asked wide eye taken back by his statement.

"I'm serious. Job's come and go, bosses come and go, I don't want you to come and go"

"Jay" she said softly. "How would this work?"

"It's been working for the last two months" he laughed. "Were adults, in an adult relationship, who have good jobs, good incomes. This can't not possibly work"

"I guess" she sighed with a small smile as she drank more of her coffee.

"Guess?"

"I just…" she wandered off on her train of thought. "I want you to move in with me, in my place" she finally said. Jay looked down into her bright green eyes before kissing her. She felt so woozy from the kiss she almost dropped her cup. When Jay pulled back he had a smile. "So if your down just please say our down" was the next words off her pink lips.

"I'm down"

And it was in that moment that all of the pieces started to come together.

 **00000000000000000000**

When Erin woke up Friday morning she wasn't sure how to feel. After today this undercover mission was over and then her and Jay went back to 'just friends' at work. She rolled over in the bed, the comforter pulled up to her shoulders to trap in the warmth. Jay was laying on his back his head turned to face her still fast asleep. His hand was placed on her stomach and she figured he fell asleep like that since she was out before he was last night. She lay in the darkened room listening to Jay's small breaths. The first couple of days after they had started the assignment Jay's breathing would scare her when she woke up. Now she wanted nothing more then to hear his breathing every single morning. She smiled to herself as her eyes stared at the blank ceiling. After a few moments of laying like that Erin slowly pushed Jay's hand off her bare stomach and slid out of bed to pee.

She walked to the bathroom flicking on the light as she went letting her eyes adjust to the brightness. When she was done she stood in front of the large mirror of the bathroom just looking at herself. Her bright eyes, and her short wavy brown, blonde hair that hit her shoulders. Her pale skin and the little birth mark on her right check. She noticed how her collar bones stuck out more then most people and how her lips were so pink they always looked like she was wearing lipstick. She liked the way she looked at herself like this. Then she slowly brought her hand up from her side and grasped onto the hem of Jay's oversized t-shirt that she wore and pulled it up. There she stood in front of the mirror looking at her pale stomach and all of the marking's on her body from the attack. She took a deep breath and she looked at herself long and hard. These scars might have been an issue for her these last fifteen years but not anymore. Jay didn't have a problem with them so why should she. And for the first time in fifteen years she didn't cry when she looked at her stomach. She dropped the shirt letting it cover her stomach once more and then she reached for the bottle of oil that she had used also everyday for the last fifteen years of her life. She took one good look at it before tossing it in the trash can beside the bathroom counter before smiling at her own actions and walking out, turning the lights off as she went.

 **00000000000000000000**

She turned around her back facing Jay. He grabbed onto the two pieces of the vest and pulled them together one one side before doing the other. They were both at the district vesting up before the bust of the sex club. They had been briefed by Voight when they had arrived that afternoon. They were to go in to the club like nothing was wrong and when the time was right the rest of the unit would bust in and arrest everyone else. The two of them currently stood in the change room as they would put their clothes over the vest to hide them.

"God I can't wait to put this guy in jail" Jay said as he pulled a grey button down shirt onto his body and started to button it up over the bullet vest.

"You and me both, payback is about to come back and bite him in the ass" Erin almost snarled as she pulled a lose black dress over her head. It covered the fact that she was wearing the vest and as she bent down to slip on heels Jay pulled his black tux jacket on.

"Are you okay with doing this?" he asked her.

"Of course, why?"

"Well" he trailed off. "Last time you saw Sabrina she smashed into your car"

"And she's about to get payback" she said grabbing onto her small clutch.

"Do you want her dead?" he asked. Erin turned to look at him and sighed.

"No, I don't want her dead. But she deserves to be punished for what she has done Jay. The overdoses, cocaine, the car accident, the shipping of children overseas. She's not going to get off lightly"

"Good, I just want to make sure you have a clear head going into this"

"I do" she said nodding her head with a smile. "Don't worry"

"Good, okay. Do you have your gun?" he asked as they started to make their way out of the change room to meet the others. She slid her dress up to where it was higher then her mid thigh and there her gun was strapped to it.

"Locked and loaded" she replied with a smirk.

"Good" he smiled back as she moved his tux jacket to the slide to reveal his gun that was on his side. "Now let's go get these guys"

 **000000000000000000**

Erin pulled the car up at the sex club and for the first time Jay felt like this was their first time coming here again.

"You ready for this?" he asked when she had pulled the car into drive and shut it off.

"Let's go" she said. They both got out of the car avoiding the snow piles as Erin was wearing open toed heels. They quickly got into the building to get warm and undid their coats. And as routine they walked down that long red hallway until they reached the main room, and today it was packed. More people then ever were here and they had to avoid groups of people to get over to the bar.

"Why is it so packed?" she whispered at him.

"Maybe it's a distraction" he leaned in and whispered into her ear. Shivers went up her back and she gripped Jay's arm harder waiting for Axel and Sabrina to show themselves. This time they didn't order anything to drink, they both wanted to be on their top game when the takedown happened. Almost thirty minutes had passed and when Erin started to worry they weren't going to show up she should see the jet black hair from across the room and she knew that was target number one. When Sabrina's eye's met the bar Erin waved her hand over and she grinned and almost ran over to her wrapping her arms around her.

"Oh my gosh, thank God you are alright" she said acting like she was going to cry. "I was freaking out and when you didn't show up and when Axel called to tell me it was you in the accident I thought you were gone for good"

Erin put on her best smiling face as she pulled back from her to look her in the eyes. "I'm okay, don't worry. Everything is okay now"

"I'm so glad" She held onto Erin's hand. "Now Jay can I steal her for a minute? I have something I want to tell her" Erin turned and looked at Jay and gave him a nod.

"Of course" he said smiling. "Where's Axel?"

"He's coming, he was on the phone with a developer" she said before pulling Erin along with her and the two made their way to the back of the club where all the rooms where, and it was where Erin and Jay had bought the drugs and met Axel for the first time. Sabrina pulled Erin into a room with a huge smile on her face.

"What?" Erin asked laughing. "What's so important?"

Jay stood around at the bar for a few more minutes before he spotted Axel making his way over to him. "Jay" he said pulling him into a hug. "How is everything? I haven't seen you in forever"

"Things are good" Jay replied. "Were working on some stuff but you know" he shrugged.

"I get it, after everything…" Axel trailed off. "But hey let's not think about all that negative stuff right now. I wanted to talk to you about something"

"Of course"

"Follow me" Axel lead Jay into the back of the club like Sabrina did and they stepped into a room where without either one of them knowing, both Erin and Jay were in rooms right beside each other.

"Well?" Erin asked. "What's going on?"

"I'm pregnant" she squealed out. Reaching out to hug Erin. Her smile went almost to her ear's, her white teeth being proudly showed off.

"Oh my gosh, that's amazing! How far along are you?"

"About eight weeks. I've been waiting to tell you forever, I'm so excited!" she said clapping her hand's together.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Jay asked. He stood alone with Axel in the room.

"I was just on the phone with a developer of mine and we've been looking to build another club in this city, and I was wondering if you want in"

"Really?" Jay asked honestly surprised.

"I really like you Jay. These last couple of months we have had so much fun, and our wives get along so well, I want to bring you onto this next project"

"I would love to be apart…" but before Jay could get the full sentence out a beep came from Axel's phone in his back pocket. His smile from his face dropped as he walked over to the wall and banged three times on it.

Erin was in the middle of hugging Sabrina when three bangs came from the wall. Sabrina immediately pulled back the smile on her face gone and before Erin knew what she was doing she slowly reached for her gun on her right thigh and so did Sabrina and in a matter of seconds both of them had guns pointed at each other.

When Axel moved away from the wall with a blank expression on his face, Jay knew there was a bad vibe. And without thinking he reached into his jacket and pulled out his gun and when he made eye contact with Axel he realized he had done the same. And without knowing all four of them had guns pointed at each other.

Erin didn't even blink at the fact that she had a gun pointed at her, but she knew Sabrina was shocked. She probably didn't figure that they knew and she thought she would have been able to catch her off guard. Erin didn't play that way.

Sabrina tilted her head to the side as she gave a small smirk. Her hands out with the gun pointed right at Erin's head.

"You were supposed to die in that car accident"

"CPD!" Was what everyone in the club heard before people started screaming and running. Voight, Atwater, Antonio, Ruzek and Burgess busted in the door their gun's in there hands and started yelling at everyone to get down on their knee's.

"Where's Halstead and Lindsay?" Voight yelled over at the unit over the commotion of everyone yelling.

And then there were several shot's heard from both rooms that Erin and Jay were in.

 **Hope you all liked it! Please remember to review and let me know what you would like to see next! And certain reviewers will be getting a sneak peak of the next chapter! xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13 Shots Fired

**Sorry for the no update last week I was in exams and didn't have time to get this chapter written out, but here it is now! Also thank you for the all the reviews on the last chapter I had the most I've ever had for that one which made me super happy!**

 **Enjoy!**

 _And then there were several shots heard from both rooms that Erin and Jay were in._

"Dispatch roll ambulances to our location shots fired at the police! I have two officers down we need backup!" Voight yelled into into his radio. In the club everyone was screaming and running for exits. Voight had quickly found the rooms that contained Erin and Jay and found them both knocked out unconscious lying on the floor. Sabrina was on her knee's clutching her left leg her face scrunched to know she was in pain. Erin had obviously shot her in the leg. In the other room Axel was knocked out too, two bullet wounds in his right hip, blood slowly pooling out and onto the floor.

"Burgess!" Voight yelled out from Erin's room. "Get cuffs and get in here!" Burgess ran into the room and immediately spotted Erin lying on the floor knocked out. But she quickly postponed her thoughts for Erin before coming up behind Sabrina and slapping the cuffs on her wrist.

"Sabrina Bridges, you are under arrest for intentional vehicular homicide and the potential murder of a Chicago officer"

In the other room, Ruzek slapped cuffs on Axel's wrists before leaving him on the floor to go check on Jay. "Voight we need these ambulances here now!" he yelled out the room. "Jay is not looking good"

"I need the ambulances here now!" he yelled into the radio.

"Ambo's are two minutes out" the dispatch radioed back at him.

"Atwater, Dawson block off the streets I don't want anybody coming in or out of this club!" Voight yelled. He bent down to get closer to Erin as he shook her shoulders.

"Erin! Common wake up!"

"Dispatch this is detective Kevin Atwater we need additional units to our location to block off the streets and detain bystanders"

"Copy that, additional units headed your way"

And for what seemed like hours, the world was just a blur to the unit. The handcuffing of people, watching Jay, Erin, Sabrina and Axel all loaded onto separate ambulances, with Sabrina being the only one awake and with no idea what was going on with Erin and Jay. This bust did not end up the way it was supposed to.

 **00000000000000000000000**

The first thing she felt was pressure, and as she slowly started to wake up fully and open her eyes the pressure turned into pain, and the pain was unbearable. The light above her eyes was to bright that she shut them again and then slowly but surly opened them enough just to see where she was.

The first thing she saw were her legs out in front of her and when she was able to open them more she saw the white wall's and the IV that was hung above her head and the beeping of a monitor that she soon realized was her heart when she noticed a monitor was clipped over her finger. She registered that she was in the hospital and she couldn't quite remember how she had gotten here.

Moments later Dr. Manning walked in.

"Erin, good to see you're awake" she said smiling she glanced over at her monitor. She pressed a few buttons on it before turning her attention back to her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Everything hurts" she moaned out as she rubbed her eyes. "How did I get here?"

"You don't remember?" she asked. Erin shook her head back at her.

"Well from what I was told you and your unit went it for a bust and you and Jay were pulled aside into different rooms and you had a gun pointed at you"

"Was I shot?" she asked. She started freaking out mentally because she's didn't want to spend another week in the hospital and another two to three weeks off work again.

Natalie nodded her head. "But the vest caught the bullets so you are fine. You just have some major bruising on your ribs. A little rest and you should heal up in a few days"

"Okay" she said relaxing into the bed. "What about Jay?"

Natalie's eye's immediately widened and her face froze for a second.

"Natalie?" Erin asked as she sat up and regretted it when the pain in her chest shot up by 150% but she didn't care.

"What happened to Jay?"

 **0000000000000000000000**

"We had to do two blood transfusions from how much blood he lost, and we removed the bullets but he's going to okay"

Voight stood in the hospital outside Jay's room talking to his brother Will.

"Did the bullet hit anything vital?" Voight asked. A cup of coffee was in his hands and the circles under his eyes told Will he hadn't slept in the last day.

"No, so were all clear for that. No major veins, arteries or organs. It was just lodged in his tissue well so we really had to dig it out but nothing major. About two to three weeks healing time. And he should be able to be back to work in about a month as soon as he's cleared that he can shoot" Will said. Jay was passed out in his bed with no idea what had happened to him or Erin.

"That's great thank you" Voight said shaking his hand.

"I'm on shift the next few days so I'll be keeping an eye on him and if there are any new updates you will be the first to know" Voight nodded his head. "What about Erin though?" he asked.

"You will have to talk to doctor Manning about her. She's on the third floor, west wing, section B"

"Thanks again" he said before turning back around to head to the elevators to take them down to see Erin.

 **00000000000000000000**

When Voight hit the third floor after coming down from the 5th he spotted the B wing and headed for the information desk. There he found Natalie Manning talking to a nurse about a patient's vitals.

"Dr. Manning" Voight said with his raspy voice when the nurse left and she was finally alone. "Will sent me to you"

"Hank" she said with a sweet smile. "I'm assuming you are here about Erin" he nodded as she gestured him to walk with her and the two started off down the hall.

"How is she doing? We didn't know what was going on and what happened when she was shot"

"Well the good news is that she is going to be okay. Her vest caught the three bullets that Sabrina fired at her, thank god; so all she has is some rib bruising and some muscle pain but that's it. She got really lucky"

"You know after the car accident and then when we knew she was shot but we couldn't tell if the bullet had gone through I thought we were really going to lose her" The two kept walking down the hall passing room after room, the smell of rubbing alcohol filled his nostrils.

"You don't need to worry about that anymore. She's okay. Were going to release her in the next few hours just to make sure her vitals are consistent"

"Thank you" he said shaking her hand. "Where is she?"

"Room 27, just a couple doors down" she said pointing down the hall to her room. "But Hank" she called after him.

"She asked me about Jay, I couldn't tell her though" she mumbled.

"I get it" he said softly closing his eyes and nodding his head. "I'll tell her"

 **00000000000000**

When Hank entered Erin's room she was awake and staring at the TV across the room.

"Hey" she said when she spotted him in the doorway.

"How are you doing kid?" he asked walking in and sitting down in one of the chairs beside her bed.

"My chest really hurts but Natalie told me the vest caught the bullets so I'm lucky"

"From now on were wrapping you in bubble wrap when we go out because I don't think I have it in me to make another hospital trip for you" he chuckled. She laughed back her raspy voice just like his.

"Trust me I don't want to be here anymore then you do. But at least I'm getting released in a few hours" She sighed as she rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times. "What about Jay?"

Voight was silent for a few seconds and Erin knew it wasn't a good sign.

"Hank" she said more sternly. "What happened to Jay? I know we were both shot but nobody here will tell me anything"

He took a long exhale before leaning back in the chair. "Jay wasn't so lucky" he started with. "Two bullets got through his vest and got stuck in his shoulder. Another two bullets were caught in the vest but they left major bruising in his abdomen like you"

"Two bullets were in his shoulder?" she almost yelled. This time she shot right up out of bed and even though it hurt like hell she didn't care.

He nodded his head. "They pulled both the bullets out no problem and there was no damage done to anything but he lost a lot of blood so they had to do two blood transfusions"

"Oh my god" she said hand over her mouth. "I have to go see him" She swung her legs over the side of the bed and slid off her bare feet hitting the ground with a thud.

Voight jumped out of his chair and put a hand on her arm to steady her. "Erin, I don't think that is a good idea. You need to rest as much as you can"

"I need to see Jay, Hank. He was there for me when I had my accident I need to be there for him"

 **00000000000000000000**

Erin stood in the doorway of Jay's room watching him sleep. She had just been released from the hospital and had changed from that awful gown into a sweatshirt and leggings. Her head was leaning against the door frame and she closed her eyes softly feeling like sleep was going to take over. She didn't know how long she stood like that but soon she heard a voice and her eyes opened once again.

"Hey" Jay mumbled from his bed.

"Hi" she said softly as she walked into his room. "How are you feeling?"

"Out of all questions you had to ask me that one?" he said trying to laugh but realized it hurt to much to. "How are you feeling?"

"Just as bad as you" she said sitting down on the edge of her bed careful to avoid touching him. "Except I didn't have two bullets pulled out of my shoulder"

"That's what happened to me?" he asked. She nodded. "Well I should have figured that considering how much pain I'm in and also considering I've taken a bullet before"

"What?" she asked surprised. "You've been shot before?"

"Yeah, that's basically how I got into Intelligence. I took a bullet for Gabby Dawson"

"Wow but you've never taken one for me" she said a big smirk on her face. "Worst boyfriend ever" she said followed by a small laugh.

"I like that word boyfriend" he said with a smile. Her smile grew so big to the point her dimples popped out and Jay couldn't help but smile even more then before. God he loved her. "Did Sabrina get you?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"No. She fired three bullets at me and they all caught in the vest so I just have some rib bruising"

"I'm sorry that I let us get separated" he said looking down at his hands in his lap. "If we had been together, maybe she wouldn't have shot you and…"

"Hey" she stopped him. "You can't blame yourself for what happened. What matters is that we are both alright but I'm more concerned for you. You were there for me after the car accident and now I'm going to be there for you"

"Thank you" he reached for her hand and when she gave it to him he brought it up to his lips and kissed it. "Come here" he said after shifting himself over in the tiny hospital bed. Erin got up off the end of it so she could move up to where he sat. She lifted up the blankets and slowly slid in careful not to hurt him. When she relaxed into the bed beside him he draped the blanket back over then two of them and she snuggled into his non injured shoulder. A few minutes later without saying a word they both closed their eyes and fell asleep together in the bed. The both of them dreaming about when they were here the last time.

 **Remember to leave a review and you may get a sneak peak! See you guys next week, xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14 It's All Over

**Thank you all for last weeks reviews!**

 **Enjoy!**

 _A few minutes later without saying a word they both closed their eyes and fell asleep together in the bed. The both of them dreaming about when they were here the last time._

When Jay woke up the first thing he felt was a heavy weight sitting on his lower half. He blinked a few time to focus his vision before opening them up completely, and the sight he saw made him laugh out loud. There was Erin straddling his lower half looking down at him like a little puppy dog.

"Uh finally" she said rolling her eyes. "I've been waiting for you to wake up for the last twenty minutes"

"Good morning to you too babe" he said bringing his hands up to rest them on her thigh's. "Do you enjoy teasing me like this?"

"You know it" she almost purred. "Why do you think I'm sitting like this?" she leaned down to kiss him as her chest pressed against his bare one. Jay wrapped his arm's around her body as he kissed her with everything he had.

It had been three weeks since the hospital. Jay and Erin had both been on bed rest for the last couple weeks even though both of them didn't agree with it. But Voight didn't want to even catch a glance of them in the district until three weeks were up. And today they were officially off bed rest and could go back into work. It was both giving them 'extra' excitement.

When things were getting pretty hot and Jay had rolled Erin over so he lay on top of her and so she could wrap her legs around his waist that was when he stopped.

"Really" she said letting out a huff, obviously sexually frustrated.

"Do you really want to be late on our first day back?" he questioned as he rolled off her so he could climb out of the bed.

"No" she said. "But you stopping is not funny"

"Well you started it and that wasn't funny either" He pulled a long sleeve grey shirt over his body and at that moment Erin knew it was over, at least until after work. At that she sighed as she slid out of bed to get ready so the two of them could head to the district.

 **000000000000000000000000**

When the two of them climbed the staircase into Intelligence they were all greeted by friendly faces.

"It's good to have you guys back" Atwater said as he shook hands with Jay and then hugged Erin. "It really hasn't been the same without you two here"

"Yeah it really hasn't been" Dawson chimed in.

"Thanks guys" they both said at the same time as they both sat in their desk's right across from each other. "We hope that we never have to take time off again"

"Were just glad you all are alright" Voight piped in as he stepped out of his office. "Now today is a big day team. Sabrina and Axel are both being shipped over from jail for their questioning here and once they are done they are going to state prison. Were just waiting to hear back from the judge on how long their sentences are going to be"

"Who's going to be interviewing them?" Al asked.

"I want Lindsay and Burgess for Sabrina and Halstead and me for Axel" Voight said. "Now we just wait for them to get there"

The unit sat around for about 30 minutes before Erin's desk phone rang.

"That's Platt" she said as she hung it back up and stood up from her desk. "They're here"

"Alright, well we know the drill. The rooms are ready so let's do this" Voight said.

A few minutes later the sound of footsteps could be heard along the stairwell. And when Erin looked up from her computer she saw Axel and Sabrina being escorted by officers. As they pushed them towards the interrogation her and Sabrina made eye contact and Erin swore she could see fire in her eyes.

Erin and Kim stood outside the interrogation room that currently held Sabrina in it. The door was closed and Erin was almost afraid to open it up.

"You okay with this?" Kim asked her.

"I thought I was but now with just the door between us I don't know. It was different when I was playing the role but now I'm a cop looking into the eyes of someone who tried to kill me"

Kim rested her hand on Erin's shoulder for comfort. "I know. But you're not alone in this. I'm going to be with you" And with that Erin opened up the door and the two of them walked into the room.

Sabrina sat at the table her hands in cuffs. She looked miserable. The jail had let her change out of her jumpsuit into a t-shirt and sweatpants and without her hair being brushed and with no makeup on she looked wrecked. Nothing was said between the three of them as Erin and Kim sat in the chairs across from her. A few minutes passed in complete silence before Sabrina finally talked.

"Aren't you two supposed to ask me a question or something?" she rolled her eyes as she said it.

"Well considering we have evidence of everything you and your husband have done there's no real reason to ask you questions" Kim stated.

"So why am I here then?" she asked.

"Protocol" Erin said her arms folded over her chest. At her voice Sabrina's turned her head to look at Erin.

"I see your still alive" Sabrina said. "Again"

"Yeah thanks for that, by the way" Erin said. "How's the leg doing?" she smirked as she leaned back in the chair almost enjoying herself.

"I almost bled to death"

"Good I'm glad" Kim turned her head to look at Erin who she knew wasn't in the right mind set.

"You know your lucky" Erin said as she stood up out of her chair and started to walk around the room. "I was going to shoot you in the head but I thought no, she doesn't deserve to die. She deserves to live out her sentence" She stopped right beside Sabrina looking down on her.

"I wish you had just killed me"

"Sorry, guess my aim was really off that day"

Kim still sat in her chair watching the tension unfold between the two of them. She knew things were going south and if Erin didn't cool down, things were going to go real bad real fast. Erin sighed as she rolled her eyes and look down. Hidden behind her loose t-shirt and the table Erin could see what she thought was a bump. Thinking it was a joke she started laughing, causing Kim and Sabrina to look up at her.

"You have got to be kidding me" she said as she sighed. "You really are pregnant?"

Sabrina stayed quiet as she just stared at the wall.

"Wanna know something?" Erin said as she sat back down in her chair so she could be eye level with her. "Turns out I was pregnant too. The car accident you caused made me lose the baby" Sabrina's eye's turned over to meet Erin's and she thought she was a hit of sympathy but not even a second later it was gone.

"And you know how you put on the act and said how you always wanted to have children together. Well now I can literally say you killed your only chance at having a pregnant besite" Kim jumped from her chair at the same time Erin did and Kim grabbed onto her arm.

"Erin, walk" Kim said. She looked down at Erin's hand who was in a fist and she looked ready to throw it. Erin said nothing and still stood in her position.

"Erin" Kim said again this time sterner. "Walk out now" Erin turned to look at her and for a second Kim thought she was going to punch her. But after a moment passed her fist unclenched and she walked out the room.

 **000000000000000000000**

Erin stood outside the room her back pressed against the wall. She was leaning over her face in her hands. She suddenly felt a soft hand on her back and she jumped up.

"Woah don't punch me too" Jay said his hands up in a surrender mode.

"Sorry" she sighed running a hand through her hair.

"I heard what happened in there"

"I'm spiraling" she said. "I almost lost it in there"

"I know" he said he reached for her hand she let him have it. "Trust me I'm pretty close to losing it with Axel in there"

"Right, how's that going?" she asked.

"He hasn't said one word in two hours, so it's going great"

"I just need this to be over" she huffed out a long breath thinking about all the liquor she would be consuming after this day was over.

"It will be, were just waiting for the call from the judge on their sentences and then were done"

"Okay" she mumbled. "But were going out drinking after this"

"Defiantly" he smiled at her.

 **00000000000000000000000**

It was silent in the room and suddenly the sound of a ringing phone made almost everyone jump. Voight walked into his office where he shut the door and then answered the phone. Everyone sitting at their desks were quiet and didn't say a word. Eye contact was just made between the team but not one word was said. After what seemed like hours the saw Voight hang up the phone and then he opened the door and stepped out of his office.

"Well?" Jay asked.

"Axel is getting life and Sabrina is getting 25 years"

Erin let out a huge breath of relief, a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"So that's it?" Kim asked from the other side of the room. "They're done for good"

"Yep" Voight said nodding his head. "All the sex clubs are being shut down and once we inform them both of their sentences state prison will be coming here to pick them up"

"Great well lets go tell them" Erin said standing up from her desk.

"Not so fast" Voight said. "I don't want you back in there. You lost your cool"

"I'm fine"

"I don't trust you in there with her" he shook his head. "Sorry"

"Hank" she complained.

"I'll go in there with her" Jay piped up from his desk. "I'll make sure she doesn't lose it"

Voight nodded his head in approval. "But if she jumps across the table?"

"I'll tackle her" he proudly stated. Erin look over at him with one brow raised.

"Gently" he added. The two of them left their desks and headed into the back to give Axel and Sabrina their sentences.

 **000000000000000000000**

"You're done" Jay said. The two of them sat across from Axel in the interrogation room. "The judge declared life for all of your crimes. You will never see the outside world again after you are picked up from here"

"Well" Axel said. The first word to come out of his mouth since he arrived at the district. "We will see how long that lasts"

"You can't buy your way out of this asshole" Erin said. "You have no money. All of your accounts have been drained and all the clubs have been shut down. You have nothing and are worth nothing. And even if you were worth something still, it wouldn't do you any good in jail seeing as your going to die in there"

"Just know that when I do die, I will be coming to haunt you"

"Sounds good to me" Erin said with a smile as she stood up with Jay right behind her.

"State prison will he here to collect you and your fiancée in about 30 minutes so just take the time to yourself to reflect" And those were Jay's last words before he shut the door leaving Axel by himself.

Then they walked over to Sabrina's room's and stepped inside.

"So the judge called" Jay said as they both sat down in the chairs. "You are getting 25 years and Axel is getting life"

If Sabrina was shocked she didn't show it. Her face stayed neutral the whole time Jay continued to talk to her. "In about 30 minutes' state prison is coming to pick you both up and take you away"

"Also" Erin added with a smile. "Because you are indeed pregnant, you will only be leaving prison to give birth to your child when it is your due date. Once you do give birth the child will be placed in custody until a family is ready to adopt him or her"

"That's not fair" Sabrina said her eyebrows scrunched up. "I want to raise my child!"

"Well when you decided to try and kill a Chicago Police officer, twice; you no longer have that privilege"

"I want to speak with the judge!" she demanded.

"The judge didn't even need to see you to convict you of these crimes. You can talk to the officers of the prison about it when you get there. But I don't think there going to budge either"

"Fucking Hell!" she screamed. "I will get you both for this! You won't get away with this! I will kill you both!"

"Keep talking like that and your sentence is going to be even longer" Jay said over her screaming. The two of them stood up and walked out the door the sounds of her screaming becoming less loud as they moved down the hall.

Soon when no more sounds could be heard, Erin let out a sigh and leaned into Jay's chest. "Is it all over?" she asked.

"It's all over"

 **Sorry this chapter was so short. Work has been crazy last week and I didn't really get a lot of time so I did what I could. Now this isn't the end, I have a few more chapters to be posted in the upcoming weeks! Drop a review xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15 Moving In

**Thank you for the last chapter's reviews!**

 **Enjoy**

 _Soon when no more sounds could be heard, Erin let out a sigh and leaned into Jay's chest. "Is it all over?" she asked._

 _"It's all over"_

The undercover mission was officially over. Axel, Sabrina and their son Daniel had all been booked and given their sentences. The Chicago state prison had picked all of them up, where Axel would get life. Sabrina would get 25 years and Daniel would get 15 years. The relief that had flooded over Erin and Jay had been amazing. They no longer had to worry about looking over their shoulder every second and could now finally go to bed knowing they were locked up and actually have a good night's sleep. Jay had noticed that since the car accident Erin didn't sleep as well at night as she used to. He couldn't blame her though that after everything that had happened in the last two and a half months.

Every moment from the first time they kissed, to the first time they slept time together, her scars, his nightmares, the car crash and the gun shots was what lead them here, to this moment right now. Currently packing up the apartment that the district had given them.

"Hey that's mine" Jay said as he watched Erin fold up a t-shirt and put it in her suitcase.

"I know" she smiled at him. "But I look better in it" Jay just rolled his eyes as he opened his dresser; he couldn't argue with that. "Besides" she added throwing more clothes that were on the bed into her luggage. "Aren't we just going back to my place?" he could tell there was hesitation in her voice the way she said it.

"Oh is that where were headed?" he said raising an eyebrow with a smirk plastered on his lips.

"I thought we had decided we were moving in together" her voice was quiet as she turned around so she didn't have to look at him. "I know we had talked about it a few weeks ago but I still thought it was the plan…" Jay came up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her against his chest as he kissed her shoulder.

"I called my landlord last week and gave my notice about moving out"

"Really?" she asked her voice a little bit higher and a little bit excited.

"Really" he said back. He didn't need to see her face to know she was smiling like an idiot.

The two of them continued to pack up the rest of there stuff. Emptying the closet and dresser's and everything off the bathroom counter. Soon in less then an hour the apartment looked exactly like it had when they had first moved in. So many memories were here but Jay knew they would create new ones wherever they went.

Soon with their suitcases in the trunk of the 300 and the keys left with the landlord they climbed into the car with Erin driving of course and headed down the road and towards her now there new home.

 **0000000000000000000000000**

Even though Jay had been in her apartment a few times it felt weird as he carried up the luggage as she opened the door. She stepped in and he followed right behind her dropping the bags by the door. They both took a deep long breath as they looked around.

"So this is our place" Jay said eyeing everything. From the band posters that were hung on her living room wall to the the bookcase beside her TV and the pictures of her and Nadia that were posted on her fridge.

"I'm going to be real honest for a second" Erin said her hands on her hips. "This scares the crap out of me"

"What, why?" he asked turning his attention from the pictures back to her.

"I don't know. I think maybe it's because were in my apartment that I have just lived in by myself for over two years now. Or maybe it's just the realization that were not undercover anymore. This is real and right now it's real good and I'm afraid that were going to jinx it and then everything will fall apart" Jay moved to her side and pulled her into his chest to hug her.

"You don't need to be scared. Were going to figure things out, one step at a time. I'm just glad that we are going to be together" she smiled up at him as he leaned down and kissed her. The fireworks from that first kiss still danced across her lips almost three months later. This was good, and it was going to be good for both of them.

"Lets get these into the room so I can make some space for you" she said pointing to the bags. They each picked one up and headed to the the room around the corner of the living room dropping the bags onto the made bed that hadn't been slept in in over two months. After about an hour of unpacking a little bit of arguing about where Jay was going to put his clothes and the protest that she had to many clothes they came to an agreement and soon everything was put away.

Jay walked to the fridge to grab a beer and to sit his ass down when Erin called him again.

"Can you help me move the couch?" she asked from the living room.

"Why?" Jay called back to her.

"I want to move it a bit more back so you can see the TV better but it's super heavy and I can't move it alone" Jay rolled his eyes and he made his way over to her and the couch.

"What's in it for me?" he asked. Her left eyebrow raised a bit as a smirk formed on her pink lips. She shrugged her shoulders causing her collar bones to pop out even more in the shirt she was wearing.

"Yep okay" he said very quickly moving at a very fast pace towards the couch. Erin smiled at her work knowing he was wrapped around her finger.

 **00000000000000000000**

Jay pulled away from Erin's neck so he could breath better, he looked down at her the both of them panting. They were currently laying on the moved couch and had nothing over them but a blanket that covered their naked bodies.

"That was totally worth moving the couch for" Jay said as she pulled off of Erin and sat up.

"Told you" she said as she ran her left hand through her hair. When it came back down onto her lap she noticed the rings she was still wearing on her finger. She grasped onto them and slowly slid them off until they fell into her hand. "I guess we can stop wearing these now" she said to Jay. Jay looked down at his own hand before pulling his fake wedding band off.

"I'm honestly going to miss wearing wearing these" she mumbled.

"You won't have a bare finger for long" Jay said as he leaned over and kissed her. "One day were going to have everything we want. To be married, have a family with children. We will watch them grow and soon we will have grandchildren and great grandchildren. And when the day finally comes we will be put to rest together. All I have wanted since we started was you Erin Lindsay" his voice was neutral but it had a short of power in it. He was taking what he wanted.

"Were going to have our one day" she said smiling at him.

"Oh defiantly"

 **THE END**

 **Now this is where we would just slide into where Linstead is in the TV show. I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has been with me and this story for the last 16 weeks. This has been one of the best story's to write and all the support I have received has been so over whelming. I truly love you guys. If you follow my profile you will receive an email when I start a new Linstead story which I will be doing soon! Thank you all for the support once again!**

 **And this will be the last time I will say this… PLEASE REVIEW XOXO**


End file.
